


bound together

by trixiesahhhlaugh



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: F/F, Lesbian AU, Notting Hill AU, Slow Burn, it'll follow the movie but in a gay way, like so slow of a burn even i'm screaming at them, mixed signals for sure, more queens will make appearances i just haven't tagged them, slight drug use but like weed, they also drink here and there
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:00:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 25,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24240973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trixiesahhhlaugh/pseuds/trixiesahhhlaugh
Summary: Katya looked up. Trixie. She just spilled ice and coffee all over Trixie. Great. “Fuck, fuck, ohmygawd, I’m so sorry!” She took off the chambray shirt she had on over her dress and quickly tried to dab away at Trixie’s front. This was not how she expected Katya’s first introduction to Trixie’s body to be like. This was so embarrassing.Trixie waved her off, gently pushing Katya’s hands away. “It’s okay, hey, stop, stop, it’s fine. I’ll just - ugh, I hope this doesn’t stain, I really like this shirt.”Katya bit her lip. “Trixie. Hi. Look, I’m so sorry. I don’t mean to sound like a total creep, but I live right next to the bookstore. I can lend you some clothes? While we wash your shirt? I’d hate to be the reason why your shirt got ruined because I was a stupid, clumsy bitch.”“I got told not to trust strangers who offer to take you to their homes. Especially New Yorkers.”Katya grinned. “Well, lucky for you I’m from Boston! Come on, before the stain sets in.”akathe notting hill au nobody asked for and i'm giving you.
Relationships: Trixie Mattel & Katya Zamolodchikova, Trixie Mattel/Katya Zamolodchikova
Comments: 84
Kudos: 138





	1. run for cover!

Katya gave Mr. Thomas a piercing stare and looked down at the package in between them. Mr. Thomas coughed, glancing nervously at the door, as if the police would come barging in at any moment. Katya watched as the perspiration gathered above his top lip. He coughed again and waved his hands over the package.

“Well?” he squeaked. “Are you buying?”

She looked down again, her nose scrunching up. “Is the product any good? Is it... _clean_? Pure?”

Mr. Thomas made an exasperated noise. “Miss Zamo. You make me do this every time I’m in here.”

“I know but it’s so much fun!” she squealed, clapping her hands. “Like we’re doing something _illegal_.”

“I can assure you nothing-”

“I know, I know. I’m just spicing things up. Come on, Henry, you know I’m gonna buy everything you bring.”

Mr. Thomas sighed in relief and dabbed at his forehead with the handkerchief he kept in his breast pocket. He took out a small notebook and Katya watched as he scribbled away.

“How’s this?” he asked, showing her the figure he had written.

“Reduce it by about 40 percent and you got yourself a deal!” she replied, extending out her hand. “I just can’t keep giving my accountant a heart attack because of you.”

He gave a weary sigh - selling books to Miss Zamo always aged him ten years, he swore to his wife - but nodded, writing the new figure down. He watched as she carefully put the box on the dolly and carted them behind the register before pulling out the checkbook. Tongue slightly poking out and blonde bangs falling into her eyes, he watched as she carefully wrote the check out and signed with a flourish. 

“You’ll send me the complete invoice and receipt, Henry?” she said, laying her head down on her arms and resting them on the counter.

“I always do, Miss Zamo,” he replied, pocketing the check and patting her head gently. “See you next month. And do you think we can maybe skip the theatrics?”

“I can’t make any promises,” Katya replied solemnly as the bell above the door of _Run For Cover!_ chimed and Ginger walked in.

“Oh, Mr. Thomas! Did you bring the goods?” Ginger asked in a deep voice. Mr. Thomas laughed and gave them a small wave as he walked out, humming merrily.

“Where is my best friend?” sang out Ginger, stepping up to the counter and grabbing a magazine from the rack next to it. “I’m ready for lunch!”

Katya popped up suddenly, trying to startle Ginger but instead slammed her head on the open drawer with the wrapping paper. Ginger rolled her eyes. “Hi, hello, hi. What were you in the mood for today? But plot twist, mama, you’re gonna have to treat today because I just bought loads of new inventory and a bitch is a little tight right now. Just like this pus-”

“Don’t!” shrieked Ginger, smacking Katya’s arm with the magazine as Katya let out a wheeze of laughter.

“I have to put my babies away. Just get me whatever you’re getting and by whatever I mean either a Redbull or a large black coffee. Preferably both.”

“You’re gonna end up with a heart murmur and die if you keep drinking that.”

“God, I hope so,” Katya replied cheerfully, turning back to the back of books. The doorbell chimed as Ginger left and then - silence, just what Katya liked.

_Run For Cover!_ had opened its door five years ago, when Katya was just twenty seven. It had been a journey coming up with the funding (no bank had been too keen on lending a bunch of money to a twenty something to open up a bookstore in today’s day and age when things like Amazon existed) and finding the perfect location in Lenox Hill - it was just close enough to be able to ride a bike down the street to Central Park without breaking a sweat but far enough from the hustle and bustle of taxis and tourists. Not that Katya didn’t mind the tourists; she was just kind of tired of them stopping in only to ask directions to the _Friends_ fountain (“That’s Cherry Hill; you’re in Lenox Hill. Also, it’s not really - you know what, never mind, just go that way”). 

On opening day, her parents and sister had come in from Boston and had held her hand as she unlocked the door and flipped the closed sign to open.

“Oh, Yekaterina! It is wonderful. We are so proud of you, _lapochka_ ,” her mother said, running her hands along the spine of the books to the right of the store. 

“It’s cute!” Svetlana chirped, taking a seat on the windowsill and grabbing a random book from the low coffee table. Katya had imagined customers relaxing there, sipping a cup of tea from the bakery down the street as they read a book, the sunset in the background bathing the store in soft light. “I really like it, sis!”

“Thank you, Lana. I’m - I’m really happy. And mama and papa, I couldn’t have done this without you two. _Spasibo za pomosch’_.” She hugged her parents tightly, her dad giving her a gentle kiss on her forehead and murmuring words of encouragement softly into her hair. Her mother squeezed her hand, tears welling up in her eyes and Katya was overwhelmed with love.

Now, Katya carefully put her new purchases away in their proper places, the new thriller here, the new travel guide there, and carefully rearranged the beautiful display Ginger had helped her make for the LGBT+ Young Adult novels. She was sitting down in front of the fantasy novels, dusting the bottom shelves when the door chimed.

“Minj?” she called out, starting on the shelf above it.

“Uh, if you’re offering, then sure?” called out a voice, laughing uncertainty.

“Oh my gawd, I’m sorry, I’ll be right there!” Katya yelled, scrambling to her feet and brushing dust off her new black dress. She felt delicate and whimsical with it on, the pattern of moons and constellations glittering when the light hit it just right. She walked to the the front and stopped in her tracks.

The voice belonged to a tall woman dressed in high waisted jean shorts hugging her curves, a tight white Hole concert t-shirt, and immaculate white Keds on her feet. She had a sparkly pink beret over her long blonde curls and was peering at the travel guides over her dark sunglasses. She was, without a doubt, the most beautiful woman Katya had ever seen. And she had dated Violet, a literal model and burlesque dancer, for 2 years. This woman immediately took her breath away. Katya gulped and felt herself already getting sweaty. Gross.

“Hi, welcome to _Run For Cover!_ Are you looking for anything in particular?”

The woman turned to Katya with a small smile. “Minge?”

Katya choked. Fuck. “Um, it’s my friend’s last name. Spelled differently, but - I wasn’t - I mean I _could_ \- I don’t -” 

“A travel guide. I’m looking for a good travel guide? Nothing too stuffy, though, girl. I don’t need a snoozefest.”

Katya’s brain was fully short-circuiting, she was sure of it. She could listen to this woman talk all day, literally about anything, and she had just met her. Katya was mesmerised by how soft her hair looked, her full lips slightly overdrawn with her pink lipstick, and how the t-shirt was stretched out by her supple brea - no, focus, Katya! Travel guides! 

She stepped around her, grabbing a book and trying hard not to get distracted by how good the woman smelled. “Oh, sure, yeah, take a look at this one. It’s fun and tells you the best brunch spots and-” she glanced down at the bags the blonde was holding, “- shopping.” She handed it over, their fingers briefly brushing. Katya was going to _die_ and she didn’t need a heart murmur to do so. Just this blonde goddess.

The blonde flipped through it quickly and hummed softly. “Are there, uh, any good quiet spots in here? Like, if I wanna get away from...from people? The, erhm, noise?” she asked, looking at Katya through the sunglasses.

Katya desperately wished she would take them off, just for a moment, so she could see her pretty face completely. Then she could die. “I think so. And if not, I can give you some suggestions of my favourite places. We can share custody.”

The blonde laughed softly and hummed again, following Katya to the till. She set her shopping on the counter and looked around as Katya rang her up.

“Fifteen thirty-five, please,” Katya said. “Cash or credit?”

“Credit, thank you,” she replied, grabbing her wallet out of her heart-shaped pink purse she had slung across her body. Prada, Katya noticed. Sounds about right for the area they were in.

Katya took the card and couldn’t help but glance down quickly to read the name. _Beatrice E. Mattel._ “Just sign here, Miss Mattel.” _Oh, crap_.

Beatrice frowned as she took the pen and quickly signed the receipt, her name a bunch of swirls. “How did you know - I mean, I shouldn’t be surprised but -”

“I’m sorry. I, uh, looked at the name on your card. It’s gross and I shouldn’t have,” Katya stuttered out. How did this woman reduce the normally confident Kaya to a blubbering stuttering mess?

Something changed in Beatrice’s face, an unreadable expression blocked by the sunglasses.

“My card. Of course,” she murmured, grabbing the book and putting it inside one of her other bags. She took off her sunglasses ( _beautiful!_ ) and held out her hand. “I’m Trixie.”

Katya took her hand. Warm. Soft. Of course it would be. 

“Yekaterina.” She shook her head. What was she _doing_? She hardly ever introduced herself by her full first name. “Um. Katya.”

“Katya,” Trixie repeated slowly as if she was trying out how the name felt coming out of her lips. _Katya_. “Pretty.”

“Thank you. I chose it myself when I was born.”

Trixie blinked before letting out a loud laugh. Katya grinned. People always teased her for her laugh but Beatrice - _Trixie_ \- had her beat.

The doorbell chimed again and Trixie looked startled for a second before smoothly putting her sunglasses back on and picking up her shopping. Huh.

“Alright, you whore. I brought you your Redbull - the yellow one - and a coffee so if you die, it’s not my fault,” Ginger announced as she walked into the store.

Trixie gave Katya one last smiled and moved past Ginger in another smooth motion to walk out the door. Ginger looked at Trixie with an odd expression before shaking her head and setting paper bags on the counter. She didn’t give Katya enough time to wonder what that look could have meant before Ginger was launching into a story about how Pearl didn’t want to give her an extra brownie.

"Fuck, shit! I didn’t give her the list!” Katya burst out, grabbing a small notepad with the _Run For Cover!_ Letterhead. Katya had spent many nights designing it with Violet, all classy blocked letters. And it was at Violet’s insistence that right below it it said in small letters _Est. ‘15: Y. Zamolodchikova._ She hadn’t wanted it, thought it looked too braggy, but then she trusted Violet’s judgement. Even trusted Violet not to cheat on her and yet - 

“The list?” asked Ginger, mouthful of brownie.

Katya wrote hastily, muttering as she tried to be as specific as possible to describe the shady tree she loved in Central Park. When she finished, she ran out the door, yelling at Ginger to clean up the crumbs and to mind the store until she came back.

“What list, though?” Ginger had called out over the slam of the door.

Once outside, Katya stopped. Well, she had rushed out of the store and for what? She had no idea what way Trixie had gone. Now she stood stupidly outside the bookstore, her hand getting sweaty as she clutched the paper tightly. Katya sighed, resigned, and took a right towards the bakery Pearl worked at, the same one where Ginger couldn’t get the extra brownie.

“I should have asked for her number. I should’ve asked her out! She made a pussy joke, for fuck’s sake!” Katya muttered to herself, staring down at the list. What a lost opportunity. This was the first girl since Violet that had captured her attention this strongly. Sure there had been others, young ones in dark clubs, older ones she met up with on dating apps, but none had stood out to her quite like Trixie. What was it about her? 

Really, Katya shouldn’t have been surprised by what occured next. Had she been looking up and paying attention to where she was walking, she may have been able to prevent running directly into a person and causing her to spill the entire contents of a large iced coffee down the person’s front. 

The person shrieked. “Shit, it’s cold!” 

Katya looked up. Trixie. She just spilled ice and coffee all over Trixie. Great. “Fuck, fuck, ohmygawd, I’m so sorry!” She took off the chambray shirt she had on over her dress and quickly tried to dab away at Trixie’s front. This was not how she expected Katya’s first introduction to Trixie’s body to be like. This was so embarrassing. 

Trixie waved her off, gently pushing Katya’s hands away. “It’s okay, hey, stop, stop, it’s fine. I’ll just - ugh, I hope this doesn’t stain, I _really_ like this shirt.” 

Katya bit her lip. “Trixie. Hi. Look, I’m so sorry. I don’t mean to sound like a total creep, but I live right next to the bookstore. I can lend you some clothes? While we wash your shirt? I’d hate to be the reason why your shirt got ruined because I was a stupid, clumsy bitch.”

Trixie stared at Katya, as if she was debating whether or not Katya had the ability to kill her. To be fair, with Katya’s impressive knife collection, she easily could have. But Trixie didn’t know that. Yet. 

“I got told not to trust strangers who offer to take you to their homes. Especially New Yorkers.”

Katya grinned. “Well, lucky for you I’m from Boston! Come on, before the stain sets in.”

They’re quiet as they make their way back towards the direction of the bookshop, and Katya can’t stop thinking about all the things she wants to say to her. She can feel the awkwardness setting in and she’s trying desperately to keep it at bay, not wanting to make the situation even worse. She doesn’t even bother popping her head into the store to tell Ginger she’s back; she unlocks the blue door next to the shop and walks up the stairs, motioning for Trixie to follow her. There’s only a second of hesitation before she starts after Katya.

Once in the small landing, Katya motions for the partial glass door. “The bathroom’s just there. Um, take off your shirt? And I’ll throw it in the wash really quickly. I can find something for you to wear in the meantime. Can I get you something to drink?”

Trixie smiled and took off her shirt right in front of Katya. She’s left in a lacy cream bralette. Katya tries really hard not to stare; it’d be rude to, really, so she makes it a point to hold eye contact. She can’t help, however, notice the fullness of Trixie’s breasts. “Tea, if you have it? With some lemon?” 

This time Katya does allow herself to stare at Trixie’s ass as she walks into the bathroom, the click of the lock sounding unnecessarily loud to her ears. She lets out a deep exhale as she hears the water from the sink running. “Fuck.”

Katya wastes no time in throwing the shirt in the machine. It seems almost wasteful to her to do a load with only one shirt so she scourges around her bedroom for some other whites she can throw in there. Lemons - lemonade. She would’ve done this laundry anyway. She’s able to find her old BU sweatshirt and holds it up, thinks it may just fit Trixie.

Once done, she starts pottering around the kitchen and starts the kettle, takes out two mugs and slices up half a lemon. She carefully makes the tea and squeezes the lemon in the pink mug she found in the back of the cupboard, even adds some honey. She’s sitting at her table, blowing the steam away when Trixie calls out for her. 

“In here!” Katya responds, standing up quickly. Trixie walks in, spots the sweatshirt draped on the chair in front of the pink mug. Her chest, Katya notes, is red, probably from scrubbing away the sticky liquid. She picks up the sweatshirt and shrugs it on. Katya is pleased to see if fits. “Looks better on you than it ever did on me, I’ll tell you that much.”

Trixie barks out a laugh and a seat, picking up her mug. She takes small sips to test out the temperature, smiled when she tasted the honey. “This is great,” she said. “Thank you so much.”

Katya smiled back, can’t help but notice Trixie had taken off the beret leaving her blonde hair a little flat. Still looked unbelievably soft, though. Katya would do anything to be able to run her fingers through those curls. 

They start chattering away, about their lives, how long they had been in New York. Katya tells her about growing up in Boston but moving to New York for a change of scenery and to teach yoga. She ended up with the bookstore after her favourite one in Boston closed down and Katya realised how much time she had spent there whilst growing up. She still taught yoga, some classes here and there at the New School, but she pretty much managed the store by herself. When the washer stopped Katya excused herself to put the clothes in the dryer and give herself a moment to ground herself. She had never opened up to something this quickly but it felt like she wanted to let Trixie in, let her see all her vulnerable bits immediately, even if she was just talking about work. 

When she came back, they moved to her living room, mugs of tea quickly getting drained. Katya learned Trixie had recently arrived in New York (“Literally, like three days ago, and I already almost got hit by a taxi.”) and she was renting a place in Hell’s Kitchen with her best friend Bob, who was a drag queen. She never mentioned what exactly it was she did and when Katya asked Trixie waved her off, saying she did some freelance stuff. She seemed hesitant about wanting to elaborate so Katya dropped it, didn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable.

The dryer beeped loudly, signaling the end of the cycle and, Katya sighed, the end of their afternoon together. Trixie followed her to the dryer and Katya handed her the shirt, now clean and warm.

“Thank you. For washing it. You didn’t have to do that. I could have washed it at home,” Trixie said, holding the shirt close to her chest. 

Katya shrugged. “I couldn’t let you ride the subway all wet.”

“You sure about that?” she smirked.  _ Oh. _

Katya watches mesmerised as Trixie pulls off the sweatshirt and folds it neatly, placing it on top of the washer. She slips on her t-shirt, tucks it into her shorts, and walks out the landing where she puts on her beret. Katya follows helplessly.

“Thanks. Again.” Trixie hesitates for a second before she swoops down and brushes her lips over Katya’s, as if testing her reaction. She pulls away briefly and looks at Katya, a question in her eyes. 

Katya feels as though her lips and cheeks are surely on fire. She’s flushed, a heat of desire already pooling deep in her belly. All that after just a kiss? Katya gulps and barely nods before Trixie is capturing her mouth in a real kiss, pushes her into the wall, almost trips over the shopping bags. Katya feels Trixie’s sunglasses digging into her hips where she has them in her front pockets but all Katya can really concentrate is how soft Trixie feels to her, how she still tastes slightly of tea and honey. She takes this opportunity to trail her hand up Trixie’s back and into her hair. She has the most overwhelming desire to gently tug the soft curls and right as she has gotten her hand up to Trixie’s neck, her front door slams open, startling them apart. 

“There you are! You’ve been gone for almost two hours!” Ginger said, staring up at them from the front steps. “Who is this? Weren't you just in the store? Who are you?”

Katya can’t help but give Trixie a big smile. She’s so overwhelmed she doesn’t even notice how Trixie looks uncomfortable and skittish. “This is-”

“I gotta go,” Trixie interrupted, picking up her bags. “Katya, I have to go. Um, thank you. Really.”

Katya watched in a stupor as Trixie rushed down the stairs and past Ginger, not sparing either of them a second glance.

“Wait,” Ginger said, but Trixie paid her no mind and kept walking, hailing down a cab and stumbling in. 

Slowly, Ginger turned to Katya, her eyes wide and her mouth slightly agape. Katya takes a heavy seat on the stairs, her head in her hands. She forgot to ask Trixie for her number. Again.

“Katya, honey.”

“What?”

“Katya,” Ginger said, cleared her throat. “Katya, why was that girl in your apartment? And why did you look like you two were about to finger blast each other?”

“I spilled coffee on her,” Katya groaned, peering up at Ginger. She still looked slightly shocked, for some reason.

“You spilled coffee...on Tracy fucking Martel?”

“Who?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if this is your favourite film, then i can do nothing but apologise. i really hope i don't ruin this for anyone. i deleted my previous work i had uploaded because, quite honestly, i hated it and i didn't even see it going anywhere.
> 
> i hope you like this one better. it's fun and man, i hope i can pull these characters off. i haven't written anything that's not my ocs in years so if i get these girls wrong, please let me know.
> 
> also i probably switched tenses like a bajillion times, soz.
> 
> //russian//  
> lapochka - honey, dear  
> Spasibo za pomosch’ - thanks for the help


	2. deliberately literate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which we find out a little bit more about who tracy martel is, but not enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to everyone who has clicked on this.
> 
> please enjoy.

_“Katya,” Ginger said, cleared her throat. “Katya, why was that girl in your apartment? And why did you look like you two were about to finger blast each other?”_

_“I spilled coffee on her,” Katya groaned, peering up at Ginger. She still looked slightly shocked, for some reason._

_“You spilled coffee...on Tracy fucking Martel?”_

_“Who?”_

“Who? What are you a fucking owl? Tracy Martel!” Ginger shrieks, going up the stairs to sit next to Katya. Katya can only lay back on them and turn her head to stare at Ginger. She gently takes Katya’s hands in hers, squeezes. “Kat, honey, do you not know who she is?”

Katya can only stare back at her blankly. The name certainly wasn’t ringing a bell. Sure, it sounded like a more formal version of Trixie Mattel but she couldn’t see a reason why Trixie would be called Tracy. Was she famous on social media or something? Katya knew Ginger ran the Instagram page for the store for her (mostly because Katya was obsessed with Twitter, anyway, with her 6 followers, and the one time she posted on Instagram it was just a selfie of her wearing earrings made out of tampons) so maybe Trixie was one of those “Instagram baddies”, as Pearl called them.

“She told me her name was Trixie. It’s short for Beat-”

“Beatrice, yeah, that’s her real name.”

Katya sits up now, intrigued. “Okay, Minj, you’re gonna have to help me out here.”

Ginger sighs and pulls out her phone, types what Katya can only assume is Trixie’s name in the search screen. She sits closer and watches as the results load and sees Trixie’s face pop up. She stares at the screen - stares particularly hard at a photo in which Trixie is done up to the nines at what looks to be some sort of red carpet event. Trixie looks _stunning_ and even though Katya is confused, she still feels her cheeks getting warm. 

“Tracy Martel, honey, is an _actor_ . A really good one, at that. She was the main girl in those movies that were really big a couple years ago? The _Helix_ series?”

Katya groaned. She hated those movies. “I _hated_ those movies.”

Ginger gently pats her head and stands up, walks down to the door. “You didn’t even watch them. But she’s really, _really_ good. You should watch _Portobello Road_. I think you would like it a lot.”

Katya sighs, allows herself a minute longer to bewildered at the fact she kissed an Oscar winner (she does not, in fact, know for sure if Trixie has won one of those but would bet her entire store Trixie has at least been nominated for one) before she gets up and goes back downstairs to mind the store next door.

She finishes up putting the inventory away, but stays distracted the entire time, thoughts of paparazzi following Trixie swirling in her mind. She’s not really surprised she did not know who Trixie was since she hardly ever goes to the cinema and isn’t really into anything super popular. She mainly sticks to older movies, foreign ones, black and white films. They’re what she grew up watching with her parents and they bring her comfort whenever she feels lonely. Most oftentimes, on those rare weekend nights when Pearl isn’t out with Adore, Katya will make them soup and both of them will curl up on their couch to watch an old Audrey Hepburn film. Katya’s satisfied with her life. She’s comfortable. Lonely, yes, but she’s not, thankfully, alone.

She’s about to start wallowing in self-pity but makes herself give a full body shake to release the tension. She goes back to the till and pulls her phone out of her combat boot, goes on Amazon to find a stream for the first _Helix_ movie. She props the phone up on a stack of books and sits on the stool she keeps behind the counter. 

Ginger was right: Trixie is _good_. These types of movies may not be Katya’s type, but even she can tell Trixie is acting her ass off with the material she’s given. The plot is something about a submarine and some sort of war, a love triangle and Katya is so engrossed she doesn’t even notice when Adore walks in.

“Hey, bitch! Whatcha doing?”

Katya jumps and knocks her phone askew. “Working. Obviously.”

“Party!” Adore replies, throwing herself in the window seat. “I just finished my shift and came to see if you would entertain me.”

“Adore, honey, I kinda have to run the store,” says Katya, propping her phone back up and hitting play again. “Why didn’t you just stay at the bakery with Pearl?” She hears Adore laugh and moves to the side so Adore can watch with her.

“Oh, yeah, sure, you have to run the store, mhmm. And in what part of running the store does Tracy Martel fit in?” Adore says, raising her eyebrow. Katya hits pause and stares at Adore incredulously. 

“You know her?”

“Duh, bitch, _everyone_ knows her,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. Well. “God, imagine. Somewhere out there, there’s a person lucky enough to kiss her.” 

Katya tries very hard not to react.

“Anyway, okay, I actually came to tell you about Pearl’s birthday dinner thing on Friday. You have to bring a date.”

Katya straightens up and walks over to the young adult section. She picks up her duster and starts cleaning the non-existent dust. She keeps her store very tidy and clean, thank you. “A date?”

“Yes, a date. Everyone’s bringing one so you can’t pussy out and not be the only one without a date!” Adore hits play on the movie again but Katya yelps, tells her to stop it because she doesn’t want to miss anything. 

Katya sighs, puts the duster down. “Is Violet taking a date?”

It’s quiet. She turns to stare at Adore who is looking at her sympathetically. “Do you care if she’s taking a date?”

Katya shakes her head. It's been three years since Violet sat her down and told her she was going to be moving out. Three years since Violet explained to her she was done with the relationship, had been for a while, and apologised for cheating on her with another model while they were shooting a campaign in Paris. Three years since Katya watched from their bed as Violet packed up her suitcases (and the cat) and left with a kiss on the cheek, smelling of thick perfume. Ginger had come that night after Katya had called her drunk and sobbing, found her on the floor of the bedroom clutching a pillow. She had gently picked her up from the floor, helped her wash her face, and force fed her water. Katya refused to sleep in the bed and Ginger very patiently put her on the couch with a trashcan next to her, just in case. The next morning, Katya went into the room to find Ginger fast asleep in her bed. She threw out the mattress the same day.

Now, they were on friendly terms. Katya had moved on, dated around, gotten Pearl as a roommate. Violet came over to their place once in a while when she wasn’t busy on a shoot halfway across the world. Most of the time, she was headlining a burlesque show in Midtown so more often than not she was picking up dinner for the three of them. It was nice. Their friends all still worried, of course; Katya had seen the concerned glances they gave each when they thought she wasn’t looking. But it’s been three years. She’s good now.

“No, I was just curious. She hasn’t mentioned anyone new to Pearl and I since Cara,” she says, moving to the counter. 

“Okay, well, I have to go.” Adore stands up and walks to the door, picking up a magazine on her way out. “I’ll see you in two days and you better not come alone, bitch.”

The next day at the store, while Katya is helping out a young college student find a book for his online literature course in the back shelves, the doorbell chimes again. Two customers back to back? What is going _on_?

“I’ll be there in a second!” she calls out and turns back to the customer. “Is this one it? If it isn’t, I can always order it for you. Trust me, I’m way cheaper than the university bookstore or, like, Amazon.”

The guy flips through it, checks the cover to make sure it’s the right edition, and tells Katya it’s good. She smiles brightly and heads to the till, the guy close behind her. The new customer is standing in front of the art section, staring up at a painting she has displayed above the shelves, dressed in a short floral dress and has a familiar pink purse on one shoulder. Katya only has a second to recognise it’s Trixie’s blonde ponytail she’s staring at before she turns around and smiles brightly at her.

“Hi!” she says cheerfully, stepping closer to her. “I wanted-”

The college kid behind Katya lets out a loud gasp and she watches as Trixie’s smile slides off for a second before a more strained smile appears. Fuck. 

“Holy shit, Tracy Martel!” the guy exclaims, bounding over to her. He looks like he’s about to throw his arm around her before Katya grabs him quickly by the back of his shirt. “Oh, um, sorry. Erm, hi, can I maybe get a selfie or an autograph?”

Katya looks at Trixie apologetically and continues walking to the till. She scans the book and puts it in a bag with _Run For Cover!_ emblazoned on the side. She pointedly clears her throat. “It’s six even, honey.”

“Do you wanna get that?” Trixie says to him, nodding her head to Katya. 

The guy walks quickly over to Katya and hands the money and clutches the bag to his chest, staring at Trixie expectantly. She smiles again and nods her head when he pulls out his phone. He sighs in relief and walks backs over to her, ready to pose before she stops him. 

“Wait, uh, hold up the bag. So they see the name of the store. And make sure you tag it when you post it, okay?” Trixie instructs. The guy nods his head vigorously and Katya watches Trixie pop her hip out and hold up two fingers in a peace sign as he snaps the photo. He thanks her profusely and as he walks away they see him rapidly texting on his phone, the quick chimes of his notifications coming in quick succession. 

“Why did you make him do that?” Katya asks in lieu of a hello. 

Trixie shrugs. “Free publicity for you.”

Katya groans. “But that would mean more people in my _store_ and they’re going to be _buying_ my books.”

Trixie lets out a loud bark of a laugh, her head thrown back and her ponytail swishes with the motion. “Isn’t that the point of a bookstore? To sell books to people?”

“Shhhh, don’t let them hear you say that!”

“The...the books?” Trixie asks, confused. She shakes her head and smiles, bright and genuine. Katya makes a mental note to ask her about that. Did it bother her when fans came up to her like that? Did she not enjoy being recognised? “Anyway, when I was here yesterday I noticed that painting. I was wondering if it was for sale?”

Katya looks up at the painting in question. It was a piece her sister Lana had done to celebrate the opening of the store. It was a simple but beautiful piece, all pastel colours and bold lines. Katya had a similar one in her bathroom next door. 

“It’s for sale if you promise not to give anyone else the idea my books are for _sale_ ,” she responds, walking to the back to retrieve the step-stool she kept in the small storage closet. She hadn’t expected Trixie to follow her and nearly jumps when she feels Trixie’s hand on the small of her. She gulps and grabs the stool before turning around to look at Trixie. 

“Hi,” Katya says softly, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. She takes a quick moment to look at Trixie, notices how done up she looks even in her simple short floral summer dress and sandals and suddenly feels sloppy in her oversized overalls and striped crop top. She’s also very acutely aware of her scruffed up combat boots and is sure she has a mustard stain on the left one from lunch. 

“I wanted to apologise. For yesterday. And the kissing thing. I hope I didn’t freak you out and I wanted to make sure you were fine with it,” says Trixie, biting her lip.

Katya shakes her head. “No, yeah, it was absolutely fine. I just was not expecting.”

“Okay, good,” says Trixie, letting out a sigh of relief. Interesting. 

Katya smiles and motions her head to the front of the store. They walk over together to the painting and Trixie stands to the side as she watches Katya climb up to pull down the canvas. “Definitely have nothing to apologise for, Trixie. Or, um, should I call you Tracy?”

She hears Trixie sigh as she comes down the steps, the canvas heavy in her hands and quickly sets in on the ground. Trixie better not think she’s gonna ride the train to Hell’s Kitchen with this. Oh. She probably doesn’t even _ride_ the train. She probably has her own limo with her own personal driver waiting for her outside. 

“I was naive to think you would never figure it out,” Trixie murmurs, staring at the painting. She reaches out to run a finger along it but stops. “How did you know?”

“Ginger told me.”

“The minge?”

“Yes, her,” Katya laughs. “I had no idea until she saw you yesterday in my apartment, I swear. I spent all night watching those _Helix_ movies you were in. Bitch, you’re _talented_.”

Trixie blushes but stands up straighter, her eyes twinkling. “Thank you. I really appreciate it. It’s not too often you hear something genuine like that anymore.”

“What do you mean? Mama, that kid was practically pissing his pants when he saw you!” says Katya, looking perplexed. 

“I love my fans, I do. They’re the ones that keep me relevant but...but some of them already have this idea of me. Like, they just see what I’m wearing on this red carpet or who I’m dating. I feel like nobody cares about my acting anymore?” Trixie bites her lip and shrugs. “So, just, you know, it’s nice to hear someone still thinks I’ve got it.”

“Trixie, you more than got it. You’re It. And not like in the murderous clown way but-”

Trixie laughs, reaches out to touch Katya’s side and immediately Katya feels a jolt. This is gonna be a problem, she can already tell.

“Thank you,” she says again. She looks back at the painting again, this time does touch it. “So how much do I owe you?”

“Oh, um, fuck, I didn’t even think about that. One hundred seem fair?” Katya scratches her head. 

Trixie’s eyes widen. “A hundred?”

“Oh my gawd, is that too much? My sister painted this, I don’t know-”

“No, no,” Trixie says, waving her hands. “A hundred is fine. I was expecting a lot more, actually. It’s a great piece.”

“Thank you! I’ll let Lana know the famous Tracy Martel bought one of her pieces,” Katya winks. 

Trixie looks slightly uncomfortable for a beat but then relaxes and smiles. It makes Katya pause.

“Does it...does it make you uncomfortable? When I say stuff like that?” she asks softly. She wants to reach out to her but stops herself. She has no problem with Trixie touching her but doesn’t want to overstep her boundaries. (She thinks Trixie must have hundreds of people touching her.)

“It’s not that. I just - I think it’d be really nice if I can just be Trixie...with you.”

“You can be. This is just so surreal, you know?” Katya tilts her head. “It’s, like, it’s the sort of thing that happens in dreams and not in real life. I mean, in good dreams.” She pauses and gently touches Trixie’s shoulder. Trixie doesn’t react, just stares at Katya with a very soft smile. “It’s a dream, in fact, to see you again,” she finishes.

“What happens next in the dream?”

“Ideally, I would ask if I could see you again. Take you out on a date,” Katya says hopefully.

There’s a pause.

“I have to go,” Trixie says instead. She steps back slightly from Katya, turns to look down at the painting instead. “I can’t take this with me right now. I have rehearsal in half an hour at, um, the Music Box, so I should really go.”

“Oh, right, yes, of course,” Katya responds, clearing her throat. She tries not to let the complete feeling of rejection overwhelm her body but she already feels it, feels too tight in her skin.

“I can have Bob swing by later and he’ll take it. Thank you again, Katya. It was lovely seeing you again.” Trixie hesitates but quickly kisses Katya on the cheek. “Bye.”

Katya can only stare as she leaves. The chime from the bell above the door had never sounded so loud.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey, thanks for reading. i hope i'm not doing this film any injustice bc it's quite honestly so lovely.
> 
> i also haven't written any fics in about, oh, 10 to 15 years or so so this is turning into quite the labor of love for me.
> 
> please let me know what you think. i value you all, truly.
> 
> easter egg: helix is the movie julia roberts is doing press tour for in the actual nh movie


	3. moby dickens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which pearl teaches katya what to do when faced with a closed door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know this was a hard week. if you haven't already, sign petitions. donate. use your voice.

“You look like shit,” says Pearl, reaching behind her to tie her blue apron. “Here, have a brownie. On the house.” She sets a small plate with a colorful brownie next to Katya’s cheek, nudging it into her face. Katya doesn’t even move, watches the condensation of the iced tea she had ordered previously drip slowly down the glass.

She is currently slumped over a table at _Honey’s_ , the small bakery cafe where Pearl and Adore worked at. She’s feeling so miserable from her encounter with Trixie (and the rejection, she couldn’t forget that) that she closed up her shop a little early after Trixie’s roommate Bob had gone to pick up the painting. 

She had been in the small storage room (she tried very hard not to think about how, just moments before, she had been in there with Trixie, standing so close together she had been able to smell her sweet perfume) brewing a cup of tea with the automatic kettle she kept in there when the doorbell chimed. She hurriedly dumped her tea bag in a mug and walked out quickly.

“Hi, yes, sorry, welcome to _Run For Cover!_ , how can I help?” Katya asked the person standing in front of the till. 

“Hello, I’m here to pick up for Tracy Martel?” the man said. He was tall, wearing square glasses, a stylish hat over his bald head, a smart t-shirt loosely tucked into his black jeans. She could see a bit of a shimmer on his eyelids and a brilliant highlight swept over his chocolate skin. 

Katya smiled. “You must be Bob,” she said, reaching out to shake his hand. “I’m Katya.”

“It’s nice to meet you. Yeah, Trix - um, Tracy-”

“Trixie. It’s okay.”

Bob sighed, scratched the back of his head. “Sorry, I don’t really keep up with who she’s introduced herself to as Trixie and she didn’t specify when she texted me. Anyway, well, _Trixie_ mentioned there was a painting she had wanted me to pick up?”

Katya pointed to the canvas leaning on the wall next to the entrance. She had carefully wrapped it in butcher paper to protect it, had even contemplated tying a nice ribbon on it before deciding it would be too much. She had even talked herself out of tucking a note for Trixie in the back (mostly because she had no idea what she should write). 

“Oh, this bitch,” Bob said, staring at the huge canvas. “I _know_ she didn’t expect me to take this on the train.” He pulled out his phone and started dialing, giving Katya a quick smile in apology. 

Katya waved him off and sat behind the till, sipped on her tea. She picked up the book she was currently engrossed in, _Captain Corelli's Mandolin_ , and opened it up to her bookmark, intending to read while Bob was on his call with, she could imagine, Trixie. 

“Trixie, why didn’t you tell me this shit was enormous?” Bob said, waving his hands. “Bitch, how the hell am I gonna get this home? Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Girl, _what_? You’ve lost your damn mind. Mhmm, okay.”

Katya gave up on her book when she realised she had read the same paragraph three times and still had not processed a word. She quietly closed it and stared at Bob. She could hear Trixie’s voice coming in quickly and loudly; it sounded like she was in rehearsal and there was a lot of background noise. Katya pulled out her phone from her front pocket and fired off a quick text to Ginger. Immediately she got a text back with a link to a Time Out article stating Trixie was in town to play the lead in the American revival of the musical _Company_ for a three-week run. She had been engrossed in reading the plot of the play when she jumped after Bob let out a loud cackle. 

He hung up the phone and turned to Katya. “Sorted. I made her send me an Uber to take this home. _And_ she’s paying for it.” He motioned towards the window seat. “Do you mind if I wait in here? It shouldn’t take more than, like, 5 minutes.”

“Make yourself at home. Do you want a cup of tea?” Katya asked politely. 

“Oh, no, I’m good; thanks, though,” said Bob. He sat down and looked around the store. “So do you own this place or -?”

Katya nodded excitedly. “Yep! All mine. I’ve been here for about five years now.”

Bob nodded. “Cool, cool, that’s cool.”

There was an awkward silence and Katya sipped on her tea. She debated bringing up Trixie because she didn’t want to seem like she was prying but -

“So how long have you known Trixie?” she blurted out. Oops.

“Shit, like, I don’t know, _years_. Definitely before all of...this,” he replied, grinning. “We worked at the same bar together for about two months in Milwaukee and then we moved to Chicago for three years. I moved here and she moved to LA to act.” 

“What did you guys do?” Katya asked curiously.

“She sang and I performed,” replied Bob, checking his phone when it beeped.

“You do drag, right? She mentioned that yesterday when we were...talking.” Katya shifted in her seat, sniffed a little.

Bob stood up, pocketed his phone and gave Katya a small smile. “Listen, um, you should go to the theatre and talk to her.”

Katya choked on her now lukewarm tea. “I’m sorry, what?”

He sighed and attempted to lift the canvas. Katya rushed over to help him and together they managed to get the painting in the back of the black SUV double parked with the hazard lights on in front of the store. As they reached up to close the back of the car, Bob turned to Katya. 

“You should go to the theatre,” he repeated. “Go through the stage door entrance and ask for Jan. Tell Jan I sent you. And then - and then talk to her. Trust me.”

Katya nodded slowly. “Thanks. I, uh, I will.”

That had been twenty minutes ago. Now, Katya shoves the whole brownie in her mouth, coughing when she chokes on a nut. She gulps down some of her iced tea and then lays her head back down on the table, moaning. “Tell me what I should do.”

Pearl rolls her eyes as she slowly rearranges the peanut butter cupcakes in the top row of the display container. “Girl, I already told you what to do.”

“But I don’t wanna do it,” Katya whines, stomping her feet. She knew she was being childish but she truly did not want to go down to Broadway if it meant she would just get rejected again. She couldn’t handle a second time.

“Then I don’t know what to tell you, Kat,” Pearl drawls out, moving on to the next row of pastries, this time muffins. “I would already be on the train. You’re being useless.” She ignores the man standing by the register coughing pointedly and lets her coworker help him instead. Katya truly does not understand how Pearl still manages to hold down this job.

Katya groans, tilting her head back in the chair. She takes a second and scrambles up, decision made. “Okay, you’re right, you’re right. But you better have an ice cold bottle of wine waiting for me at home, just in case.”

“Just in case you don’t come back home alone?” Pearl snickers as Katya walks out with her middle finger high in the air.

As she sits on the Q towards Times Square, Katya nervously taps her foot and shakes her leg. She has her Notes app open on her phone and is typing and deleting what she should say to Trixie when she sees her. She does have some sort of idea of what she should say (probably something about how she thinks Trixie is the most beautiful woman she has ever laid eyes on) and what she shouldn’t say (probably something about how she would love nothing more than to bury her face between Trixie’s legs for hours) but hasn’t really figured out how to articulate it all. 

More likely than not, she’ll probably end up rambling about her knives, which is probably not the way to go if you want to court a girl.

She gets off on 42nd and as she makes her way up 7th Avenue, she can feel herself starting to sweat. Her hands are getting clammy as she gets closer to the theatre and now she’s wondering if she’s doing the right thing. What if Trixie doesn’t even bother giving her the time of day? What if she sees her and completely ignores her?

She’s at the stage door entrance of the theatre now and doesn’t see anyone around. She tries to open the door but, predictably, it is locked. She stands back and hops around for a bit, full of nervous energy, and pulls out her phone to dial Pearl at the bakery.

“Pearl, Pearl, Pearl, I’m here but the door is locked,” she says when Pearl picks up. 

Pearl sighs. “ _Then knock_.”

“Should I even bother? What if she doesn’t want to see me? Also, the door is locked.” Katya hops around some more, ignores the tourist in the bucket hat clutching a map who is staring at her curiously. Welcome to New York, sir.

“ _Then knock,_ ” Pearl drawls again. Katya can practically hear the eye roll. “ _Goodbye, Katya._ ”

Katya chokes out a near hysterical laugh that’s been bubbling on the surface and stops to take a deep breath. Well, she thinks, no use in turning back now, and begins to pound on the door. She’s nearly knocked back when it swings open towards her and pushes herself to the right by the glass poster display to avoid getting hurt. 

A blonde with a very high ponytail and purple eyeshadow pops out her head. “Hello?”

Katya pushes herself off the wall and turns to her. “Hi, yes, I’m looking for Jan?”

“That’s me!” she says, a ball of high energy. Katya’s way too tense for this. “I’m Jan!”

Katya shoves her hands in the side pockets of her overalls and clears her throat. “Bob sent me. Well, he didn’t send me but he said to come over and to ask for you?”

Jan gives a wide smile and ushers Katya in. “Yes, of course, come on in.” They quickly make their way into the theatre and stop by the back, Jan motioning for Katya to take a seat. “He texted me earlier. They should be done soon. And then you can, well, you know.”

Katya nods and takes a seat in the very last row, the dark shrouding her from the bright lights of the stage, and slumps deep in her seat. Mesmerised, she watches Trixie float across the stage, her delivery strong, her dulcet tones intoxicating Katya as she sings. She’s astounded at the sheer talent Trixie displays and tries not to wince when she stumbles on a note or a line and has to hear the director critique her. Katya's earlier assessment of Trixie being wickedly talented had been right on the money. 

“Let’s take fifteen! Jan, I need you over there with Travis to make sure you have that choreo absolutely tight,” Katya hears the director yell, standing up and straightening his green graphic suit. 

Katya sees Jan nod her way and motions her head over to Trixie, who is standing to the side looking over her script with her co-star. Katya stands up, gives her body a full shake to calm her nerves, and starts walking down the aisle. She has no idea what she’s gonna say to Trixie once she’s in front of her. Is she there to apologise? But what does she have to apologise for, really? _Hi, sorry I can’t stop thinking about you_? She promptly forgets everything she has written on the train in her Notes.

She’s nearly to the side of the stage right near Trixie when she hears someone clear their throat loudly.

“Excuse me, who are _you_?” 

She turns and it’s the director staring at her. She stares back, at a loss for words, and can’t help but look at the light gleaming from his bald head. “Um -”

“She’s with me, Ru. She’s here with me.”

She turns and sees it’s Trixie, standing at the edge of the stage. Katya nods quickly and heads over to her, stops and holds out her hands to help as she hops down from the stage. She follows her to the left and they sit down in the front row. Trixie sets her script in her lap and looks at Katya expectedly, raising her eyebrow. 

“Right, yes, hello, hi, hello, how are you?” Katya says, smiling brightly. She’s trying very hard to ignore the rest of the people there, can feel their curious stares even as she hears them run lines. She glances over quickly and sees Jan with the choreographer blatantly staring at them. 

“Katya-” 

“I came to tell you that Bob picked up the painting earlier,” she replies quickly. “I hope you like it.”

“I do like it,” Trixie says. “That’s why I bought it.”

“Right, right, you’re right.” At this, Katya stands up. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what I’m doing here. I should leave. I’m sorry for bothering you.”

“Katya, stop,” says Trixie, reaching out and grabbing her arm. She gently pulls her down back to her seat. Katya is acutely aware that all noise has completely ceased to exist in the theatre. Her face is burning and she knows, without looking, that it’s not only Jan watching their interaction with interest. “Why are you really here?”

Katya sighs and twists her hands in her lap. “I came to ask if you wanted to get dinner tonight. I know I already told you I want to take you out but, well, I’d really like to take you out. And not just because you’re, you know, Tracy Martel. I want to take you out, Trixie. Just….just you. Just Trixie.”

Trixie smiles gently and Katya can feel her heart plummeting already, the sweat beading at her temples. Pearl better have that bottle ready.

“I can’t,” she replies. “I’m sorry. I have a thing.”

“Oh,” says Katya softly, plastering on a strained smile and standing up again. “Of course, right. I really should leave now.”

“But I’m totally free tomorrow night.”

“Tomorrow! Tomorrow sounds great,” Katya chirps enthusiastically. She plops back down in her seat for a second time. This woman is gonna give her whiplash and she would not mind it one bit. Katya pulls out her phone and hands it over to Trixie. “Do you want to give me your number? I’ll text you and we can figure out where we’re meeting and stuff.” 

Trixie takes it and bites her lip. Katya watches as she inputs her number and name, adds the little heart emoji with a sparkle at the end. Cute.

“That’s my personal number,” Trixie replies and hands her the phone back, her fingers lingering for a second with Katya’s.

Katya looks down, sees a 414 area code, and nods. “Great, great. I’ll text you?”

“Sure,” says Trixie, standing up and looking down at Katya. She hesitates for a brief second before swooping down and kissing Katya softly on her cheek. Katya blushes and faintly thinks she hears Jan let out a squeal. “I’ll see you tomorrow night.”

Katya stares dumbly from her seat as Trixie disappears into the wings and walks back on the stage to her co-star, loudly saying _Kennedy, don’t even think about it!_ and opens up her script again. Katya doesn’t move for a moment; instead she quickly texts Pearl. 

> **Pearlie [plant emoji]** : tmrws my bday thing?????

“Oh, fuck,” Katya exclaims loudly and clamps her hand over her mouth. She looks up and, yep, everyone is staring now. “I’m sorry! Trixie, I’m so sorry, can I -”

Trixie lightly slaps Kennedy’s arm and walks to the edge of the stage again as Katya scrambles up to meet her. Trixie tucks her hair behind her ears and crouches down to meet Katya. “You sure know how to steal the spotlight.”

“I’m sorry, I completely forgot tomorrow’s my roommate’s birthday. She’s having a dinner thing and -”

“Okay, that’s fine. Is there some sort of dress code?” asks Trixie curiously.

Katya stops, her eyebrows scrunching in confusion. “Huh?”

“A dress code. Is it a jeans and nice shirt dinner thing or a dress and heels dinner thing?” Trixie replies, tilting her head and grinning.

“....What?”

“Katya, I’m saying I’ll be your date tomorrow,” she says, her eyes twinkling. “If that’s okay.”

“Oh! Okay, sure! I’d love that,” Katya chokes out after a beat. “I’m not sure about the dress code but, uh, I have your number so I’ll let you know?”

Trixie stands up, says sure, and walks back over to Kennedy who is smirking. The director, who had been watching this whole scene with mild interest, claps his hands and tells everyone to stand on their marks, not to fuck it up. Katya takes this as her cue to quickly exit the building and quickly starts back up the aisle to the exit. She stops only once, briefly, to look back at Trixie standing in the middle of the stage, the spotlight hitting her directly and showering her in a brilliant light, a bright smile on her face. 

Katya feels her heart beating loudly, suddenly overwhelmed, and heads towards the exit, throwing open the door and stopping in the middle of the sidewalk to call Pearl again. Her hands are trembling and hits the call button and hears the line ringing. Trixie had said yes to her. She had said yes and had even offered to be her _date_ for tomorrow night.

She’s so giddy she doesn’t even mind when Pearl promptly hangs up on her after Katya does nothing but shriek into the phone with excitement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have never been to the music box so i'm so sorry to those who have been if i got it absolutely wrong. i also know 'company' is totally not the show that's currently running there.
> 
> i think only a handful of people know who i am or where to find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/trixiemattel/status/1267208618102964227?s=20) or on [ instagram. ](https://www.instagram.com/p/CA1jcRMl4QL/)
> 
> **all** of your comments fuel me and inspire me to   
> **continue** writing this. i'm really having fun with this. i read   
> **all** of your wonderful comments. and i get so excited to read all your  
>  **beautiful** thoughts. 
> 
> thank you again. i'm eternally grateful. please tell me what you think and happy pride.
> 
> easter eggs: honey is the name of hugh grant's character's sister and the book katya is reading in the beginning is the book from the end of the movie
> 
> remember: **BLACK LIVES MATTER**


	4. much ado about books

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which they text a little bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't know how many ways i can say thank you.
> 
> fyi, there's mentions of weed smoking.

Katya can’t stop fidgeting on the train ride home, keeps texting the groupchat a bunch of nonsense about how excited she was for tonight. None of the girls beside Ginger and Pearl know it’s Trixie she’s taking tonight; Katya had been pretty vague and had just said she was taking a beautiful blonde as her date. She has her shopping bag containing her new dress clutched tightly in her lap and can’t help but keep going back to see her text thread with Trixie

Yesterday, right before she had gone down the stairs to catch the train back home, she had clicked on Trixie’s contact and sent her a text message that simply said _Hi, it’s Katya!_ _:)_ She had stood on the sidewalk for much longer than she was comfortable admitting trying to come up with that text. She had considered adding it was Katya, from the bookstore - had even, at one point, typed out her full name and the name of her store before Ginger had texted her to stop overthinking and to get home so she could trim Katya’s hair before the Big Night. She had watched the blue text message zoom up the screen, saw it had delivered, and had put her phone away before running down the steps when she heard the train approaching.

“I really hope you’re not sweating!” Ginger had said as soon as Katya walked into the apartment. Ginger was sitting comfortably on the couch, watching a rerun of some wedding reality show, her shoes off and feet propped up on the coffee table. 

Katya muttered something about how much she regretted giving Ginger a spare key ( _"Yeah, right, bitch!”_ ) before going into her room to change into an oversized t-shirt and a pair of loose shorts. She walked out and ignored Ginger’s cry of annoyance when she walked in front of the tv, had gone into the bathroom to scrub her face clean and peered into the mirror for a moment too long before she had started to feel uncomfortable. This whole situation was _bonkers_ , she told herself, and sat on the toilet with a thump. She could feel herself starting to spiral when the door burst open and Ginger walked in with her small kit, talking a mile a minute about bangs and having Katya potentially going blonder. She paused when she saw Katya staring at her blankly.

“Honey, Katya,” Ginger had sighed, looked down at her and gently grabbed her cheeks. “You’re okay. At the end of the day, she’s just a girl. Stop overthinking it. _Enjoy_ it. Hell, if it were me, I would be living it up.” 

Katya nodded slowly and smiled. “I can do this.”

“Yes, ma’am, ya sure can!” drawled out Ginger, thickened her accent. “Now, let’s fix you right up. I won’t give you bangs this time but you mark my words, I will soon.”

They had spent the rest of the night drinking red wine and eating crackers after Ginger had cut off Katya’s dead ends and evens out her hair. The women had also emptied out Katya’s closet to find something suitable for her to wear and Katya had had Ginger on the floor in tears after she had decided to catwalk up and down the apartment, shaking her hair in an exaggerated fashion. That’s how Pearl had found them before she slumped on the couch and had told Katya to wear the dress with the coffee beans to her dinner, that she didn’t really care what she wore.

Ginger had looked horrified and told Katya they would be going shopping the next afternoon. 

Now, after saying goodbye to Ginger outside the Saks ( _“I can get the same dress at H &M for way less!”_ _“...No.”_ ), she’s wondering if Trixie was ever going to text her back. It has been almost twenty-four hours since she has sent her initial text and has yet to get a response. Maybe Trixie got cold-feet? Maybe Trixie was regretting even giving Katya her number? 

She closes her eyes and wills herself to calm down when her phone buzzes in her hand. She looks down, surprised, since none of the nonsense texts she has been sending her friends had been going through. Yet there it was: a text from Trixie Mattel. She’s vibrating in excitement as she swipes on it to open it and for a brief second cannot believe she’s thirty-two with the way she’s acting like a lovestruck teenager.

> **Trixie:** hey! sorry for not getting back to you sooner. rehearsals have been craaazzzyyy, ugh

Katya is about to start typing out a response when she sees the speech bubble pop up. 

> **Trixie:** we still on for tonight right? what time should i meet you and where?? WHAT DO I WEAR????

Katya barks out a laugh and pockets her phone as she gets up to stand by the door, plays with the handle of her shopping bag and quickly gets out so she can have signal to respond to her text. She pulls out her phone as she walks towards her apartment, typing a message and deleting it and re-typing before deleting it once more. She shakes her head and locks it, decides to respond once she’s sitting on her couch and knows exactly what to say so she seems cool. 

As she’s pulling out her keys from her small purse, her phone buzzes twice, figures it’s probably the girls and unlocks the blue door. It buzzes once more as she sets down her stuff, throws her keys and purse on the dresser and heads to her room, launching herself on her bed before unlocking her phone. 

She sits up in a rush when she sees all three texts were from Trixie. 

> **Trixie:** what do you keep typing 
> 
> **Trixie:** are you trying to play it cool 
> 
> **Trixie:** you’re trying to play it cool

Katya laughs softly, has a huge smile on her face as she quickly types.

> _**Katya:** I am the least cool person in Lenox Hill, trust me! I just didn’t know what to say!_
> 
> **Trixie:** so you WERE trying to play it cool

> _**Katya** : Well...maybe just a little. _

They continue to text and Katya is pleasantly surprised at the speed of which Trixie replies, especially after getting nothing but radio silence recently. They make plans to meet outside the 50th Street subway stop at 9pm and they would take the train down to The Standard where they would meet the rest of Katya’s friends up at Le Bain. Katya lets her know they had a small section reserved for their group outside and that Pearl’s set wasn’t meant to start until around midnight. Trixie is surprised to know the birthday girl was going to DJ her own birthday party but Katya tells her Pearl would not have it any other way. 

The conversation dies down a little after that but Katya can’t help but tell her she can’t wait to see her. Trixie texts back a simple smiley face and Katya stuffs her phone under her pillow before turning on her stomach and giving an excited shriek into her pillow.

She looks at the clock on her nightstand and sees it’s only 4pm. She decides to take a nap and completely knocks out in seconds, her nap dreams vivid visions of blonde hair being photographed. She’s a little restless, tosses and turns for a bit before those dreams completely blank out. Katya is startled awake by music blasting loudly in the living room, sits up quickly and sees it’s a quarter to seven. She stretches lazily and digs her phone out from under her pillow and peers at it, scrolling through her notifications. 

The groupchat has been non stop spamming, each of them sending outfit choices for the others to vote on, and this is what gets Katya to clamber out of bed and out to the living room where she sees Pearl on the floor with her make-up strewn about the floor sitting on the carpet in front of the full length mirror (she always complained the lighting was better in the living room than in her bedroom). Katya sits on the couch and waves her hands to catch Pearl’s attention who then lowers the music.

“Should I start getting ready?” Katya asks her, watching as she carefully lines her eyes in a white graphic liner. 

Pearl has a joint burning next to her on the floor in an ashtray and she picks it up slowly, holds in her mouth for a beat as she swipes on mascara quickly and carefully.

“I have to be there at eight to set up so Adore is coming over and we’re gonna share an Uber over,” Pearl drawls slowly, exhaling the thick sweet smoke. “We’ll probably leave in an hour. What time are you meeting the big movie star?”

“I’m meeting _Trixie_ at nine,” Katya says pointedly, rolling her eyes. “I guess I’ll jump in the shower. I’ll see you there in case I don’t see you when I’m done.”

Pearl nods and raises the volume again, tells her she’ll leave Katya one of her joints next to the ashtray in case she needs it before she meets Trixie and Katya just waves at her absentmindedly as she walks down the hallway to the shower. She hops around while the water heats up, walks around in circles humming along to the music. She jumps in, scrubs herself raw, shaves everything (she’s trying not to get her hopes up _too_ high but can’t help herself), and makes sure to double condition her hair. 

As she’s walking back to her room she hears the front door closing, Adore’s laugh loud in the hallway. The apartment is quiet now and it makes Katya a little nervous. She bites her lip and bends down to grab the joint and ashtray, heads into her room to sit at her desk to get started on her face. She smokes a little, plays music, and by the time she’s ready she feels more relaxed and confident. Katya stares at herself, thinks she looks pretty damn good - she’s wearing a tight black strappy dress, her hair half up and slightly curled, blood red lips and glittery blue eyeshadow giving her just the right level of slutty she was aiming to achieve.

Katya grabs her clutch, stuff her lipstick and some powder she knows she’ll use when she gets shiny and sweaty. She climbs onto her bed and reaches for her phone and smiles: has a new message from Trixie. It’s a simple message, only says she’s ready and will be waiting for her outside where they had agreed. Katya replies she’s heading out and will be there soon and takes a final drag to quell the tiny bubble of nerves that exploded in her stomach at the thought she’s seeing Trixie soon. She stuff the rest of the joint in her purse, too.

She’s off the Q and walks, still feeling a pleasant buzz in her body. She texts the groupchat to let them know she’s picking up her date now and would head over soon but there’s no response. They probably already started drinking, she thinks. She looks up and stumbles a bit in her heels when she sees Trixie. She’s leaning against the window of the Pret looking down at her phone and Katya sees she’s nodding along to whatever Bob is saying. 

Katya feels her heart plummet but shakes her head and puts on a smile when she’s near them. 

“Hi!” she says cheerfully, waving a little. Trixie looks up and gives her a brilliant smile, puts her phone down to her side. Katya can’t help but give Trixie a quick sweeping look and feels herself blushing as she sees the long expanse of her legs underneath the short pink dress with big bell sleeves. She pointedly ignored the smirk Bob gives her.

“Hello,” Trixie replies and reaches out to squeeze her hand. She turns to Bob who rolls his eyes and says goodbye to the both of them, bending down to give Trixie a quick kiss on her cheek. Katya and Trixie both stare at his retreating figure before turning to look at each other, silent.

“Um, so shall we?” Katya asks, nods her head towards the entrance. Trixie smiles, places her phone inside her small clutch and takes out her MetroCard, holds it up triumphantly. 

“I’m really excited for this,” Trixie says as they walk down the stairs to the platform. Katya motions for Trixie to go first and then swipes her card, clutches her purse as they both jog a little to jump onto the A train that had pulled up and take a seat.

“I don’t mean to - um, this is going to sound dumb but are you going to be okay?” Katya asks, twists in her seat to get a look at Trixie. She looks so soft, Katya thinks, notices how sparkly her eyeshadow is, how full her pink lips are. She starts to feel warmer and doesn’t think it’s from the joint.

“I’ll be fine,” she replies. “Thank you for asking.” 

They chatter about their day, Katya telling her about her shopping adventure with Ginger and Trixie doesn’t take her attention off her at all. They both ignore the teenage boy down the car who is not so subtly taking photos of Trixie but can’t help but give him a large smile when he stands at the exit with his phone pointed at them. 

Ginger was right - she could do this if no one really comes up to bother them. 

They get off and they’re walking down 8th avenue when Katya takes out the joint from her purse and lights it, offers it to Trixie. She half expects Trixie to decline but her eyes widen when she takes it and takes a long drag. Katya feels her mouth watering as she watches Trixie slowly exhale, shakes her head when Trixie offers it back.

“Finish it,” Katya says. They decide to stop in Jackson Square, lean against the railing of the fountain to finish the joint. She sees Trixie’s pupils are blown now, her cheeks more red under the blush she’s wearing. 

Trixie gets to the last of the joint, inhales. She motions Katya to come closer to her and Katya widens her eyes when she realises what’s about to happen. They press their lips together and Katya opens her mouth to receive the sweet smoke Trixie blows into her, feels desire pool deep in her belly. Katya exhales through her nose and gives Trixie a crooked smile, clears her throat. She hopes Trixie feels the same heat.

“Ready, mama?” Trixie says instead, reaches down to lace their fingers together and pulls Katya out of the park.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again, thank you for reading this. your comments fuel me so i would be so grateful if you continue to tell me your thoughts. i know this was a bit of a filler chapter but i'm excited about the next one.
> 
> please remember to continue using your voice. sign those petitions, donate if you have the means to. 
> 
> i love you all. stay safe.


	5. subtext

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which they dance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you.

They chat in low voices, watch as people stumble in and out of Troy across the street to their right, and Katya tries to not get too disappointed when Trixie tells Katya she has to leave to LA on business for a week tomorrow night. Trixie lets go of Katya’s hand once they’re near the queue at The Standard (Katya tries to not think about what that means too much), and they go up to the man in a suit holding the clipboard at the door. He barely glances at Trixie when Katya gives him Pearl’s name and they breeze inside to the elevator that takes them up Le Bain. They do manage to hear a faint whisper from a couple of girls behind them when they’re in the elevator but they’re both pleasantly warm that it doesn’t bother Trixie too much so Katya decides not to say anything.

Katya leads the way around the people, gently pushes strangers out of the way until they get outside. She spots Fame immediately, sees the statuesque woman sitting straight up with her legs crossed holding a martini glass in one hand that Katya is sure is just for show and likely contains lemon water. As she gets closer she almost stops to warn Trixie about her friends but waits entirely too long before Ginger spots them and jumps out of her seat to pull them both to their section.

“You finally made it, bitch!” Ginger all but screams above the loud music playing.

Katya hovers uncertainly before Trixie reaches out for her and nudges her gently. She waves at the group to get their attention and they all turn to look at her. Adore’s eyes go wide, screams, and gulps down her drink. She makes to get up but Katya shakes her head and she sits back down quickly. Pearl, on the other hand, does stand up and leans over the low table littered with drink and food to give Katya a hug. She tells her they both look really good and told security to keep an eye for Trixie, as a favour. Katya squeezes her back, thankful, and now notices the tall man at the corner leaning on the glass barrier looking at them discreetly.

Pearl sits back down and motions to Katya. “So, introduce us to your date, you whore.”

“Everyone, this is Trixie,” she says and Trixie steps forward in her tall white boots. “Trixie, this is Fame, Naomi, Pearl, Violet, Adore, and Ginger.” She watches as she politely shakes everyone hands and then lingers on Ginger.

“The minge?” she asks, grinning.

Ginger lets out a loud laugh, shakes Trixie’s hand more vigorously. “The one and only. But spelled M-i-n-j.” She lets go of Trixie and pats the seat next to her where Katya promptly plops down.

Katya looks up at Trixie and gives her a lazy smile, rubbing the couch before Trixie rolls her eyes but instead squeezes in next to Ginger. Katya pours two glasses of ice water from the bucket with drinks and hands one to Trixie who gulps it down in one go.

“I was thirsty,” she explains with a shrug. She turns to face the group and Katya has to lean forward to listen to their conversation. “So, who is the birthday girl?”

“Pearl!” Adore says excitedly. “ _And_ she’s gonna play a sick set later. Party!”

“Well, happy birth-”

“The line to that fucking bathroom is ridiculous!” comes a loud voice behind them. “I almost knocked a bitch out who tried to jump ahead.” Katya turns to see a tall Hispanic woman in a long dress and recognises her to be Bianca, Adore’s on-and-off girlfriend. “Katya!” She turns to Trixie. “Who the hell are you? I’ve never seen you before.”

Katya hears Ginger stifle her laughter and Adore makes a high indignant noise. “This is Trixie, Bianca.”

“Nice to meet you,” Biance says, sitting down to the right of Adore and plucking the drink out of the younger woman’s hands. “So are you a model like the rest of these bitches?” she motions towards Naomi and Violet to her left, who are both deep in a conversation with Pearl.

“Oh!” Trixie exclaims. “I knew they looked familiar!”

“So you _are_ a model?” Bianca drawls, ignoring Adore poking at her side.

Trixie smiles slyly and places her hand on Katya’s knee, strokes it gently. “No, I’m an actress.”

“Oh, you’re more like this red-head bitch? Like Broadway?” Bianca continues. Ginger has, at this point, stopped trying to not laugh and instead is just slurping noisily at her drink.

(Katya, on the other hand, is trying very hard to concentrate on the conversation at hand and not the warm buzzing coursing through her body because of Trixie, whose hand has traveled higher up and is now resting on her thigh. She desperately wants to push that hand higher up her black dress.)

“Films, mostly,” Trixie replies, pouring out more water for herself. “Sometimes plays.”

“Movies! Amazing. I know Ginger here made a movie once. If having two lines is considered making a movie. And the pay was shit, wasn’t it Ging’? What’d you get? Two hundred bucks and a sandwich?” barks Bianca, letting out a cackle. Adore lets out a squeak, says _Babe!_ “What about you? What did that big blonde Dolly Parton hair get you on your last movie?”

Trixie clears her throat. “About twenty-three million dollars.” She smiles politely, doesn’t even look at Bianca’s face, and turns to Katya now, squeezes her thigh. “I’m gonna go get us drinks. Do you want anything in particular?”

“Whiskey sour, please. Thank you,” Katya answers, reaching down to pull out her money. Trixie waves her off and walks towards the bar; Katya notices out of the corner of her eye the man following her from a distance and lets out an exhale before facing Bianca. She laughs when she sees Bianca is a little shell-shocked because of Trixie’s admission. “You’re an idiot.”

“What kind of porno movie is she making that she made twenty-three _million_ dollars?” Bianca asks loudly and Adore takes this opportunity to smack her girlfriend’s arm.

“That’s _Tracy Martel_ , you dumb cunt!” Adore practically yells. At this, the other girls stop their conversation and turn to look at them.

Violet slowly raises her eyebrow. “Bianca didn’t know who that was?”

“No!” Katya chokes out, leaning against Ginger who is laughing uncontrollably.

“I’m such a fucking clown,” Bianca groans. “I asked that bitch how much her last paycheck was.”

“How did you not recognise her?” Naomi asks in her low voice. She uncrosses and crosses her legs and Katya sees the group of guys on the section over staring at her in wonderment. Good luck to them, she thinks.

“I thought her name was _Trixie_ ,” Bianca hisses. She starts arguing with Adore in Spanish and chuckles when she heard Adore telling Bianca that she truly believes Trixie could be her best friend and now she’s ruined it completely, _thanks a lot for that_.

Trixie comes back with their drinks and smiles warmly at Bianca who rolls her eyes and tells her she can’t believe Trixie just let her blather on like that. Trixie only shrugs and winks, asks Pearl when she’s meant to be on. The rest of the night passes on like in the same manner, with Trixie interacting with Katya’s friends; Katya just sits back and watches how naturally Trixie is able to fit in, never missing a beat with Bianca, or how she’s so readily eager to discuss Fame’s approach to her makeup job.

Just a little bit before midnight Pearl stands up and announces it’s time for her to start her set. She hesitates for a bit and glances at Katya, who stares back quizzically, before Katya sees Violet pull at the hem of Pearl’s dress. Before Katya can ask, Pearl leans down and kisses Violet, just a quick brush of their lips, and she walks away to where her equipment was set up.

Katya feels her whole body buzzing and reaches blindly for Trixie’s hand, squeezes. Trixie turns to look at Katya who is just staring at Violet silently. Violet, on the other hand, seems unbothered and continues her chat with Fame, who looks slightly uncomfortable and keeps glancing at Katya.

“What the fuck?” Katya hisses loudly at Violet, sits up completely.

Violet shrugs with one shoulder and sets her drink down. “What? I’m her date tonight.”

Trixie shifts now, mutters something to Ginger that Katya doesn’t quite catch because all she can hear, really, is a loud ringing in her ear. She does, however, see Ginger nod at whatever Trixie has told her and before she knows it, she’s being pulled away towards the glass railing.

“What the _fuck_?” repeats Katya, her voice quivering. She looks helplessly at Ginger for reassurance that she had not just imagined that. “Ginger.”

“Honey, I don’t know. Violet came with Fame and Naomi but I think her and Pearl had been texting all day. I do know Pearl was going to talk to you at some point tonight but-”

Ginger’s voice is soothing and Katya feels some of the feeling in her arms start to come back. “She’s so - to do that before Pearl even has the chance - I just can’t believe -”

Ginger hands her the glass of water she has in her hand and Katya knocks it back in one go, wishes it was something stronger instead. “I know, honey. But, Katya, you have more important things to be concentrating on. Like the literal blonde bombshell you have as a date?”

Katya groans. “Oh, gawd, she fully saw me freak out. She probably hates me now.” She turns to look at their section half expecting to see Trixie has left but sees she’s talking to Adore and Bianca, completely ignoring Violet who now has a sour look on her face. Katya turns back to Ginger. “We should head back. Also, where’s _your_ date?”

“Oh,” Ginger says as they walk back. “CJ was here but he went home right before you guys showed up. He has work in the morning.”

They sit back down and Katya lets out a deep breath. She is surprised to see her empty glass has been replaced with a fresh one and quickly starts drinking, the cold soothing her.

“Are you okay?” asks Trixie, sipping her own drink, and furrows her eyebrows. Her pupils are still slightly blown out and she’s flushed, and Katya can’t help but think she is the most beautiful woman she’s ever seen.

“I am now,” Katya responds and before she can think too much of it, she kisses Trixie’s cheek. She watches with interest as Trixie’s neck also gets red and how she crosses her legs tightly. _Oh._

“Do you want to get-” Trixie is suddenly cut off by a loud blast of music and they all turn to look at Pearl who now is raising her arms in the air to the beat of the song. She has a drink in one hand and a microphone in another and has put on an obnoxious tiara announcing she is the birthday girl.

“Is everyone ready for a good time, Le Bain?” drawls out Pearl over the quick house beat. “It’s twelve-oh-five now which means it’s my motherfucking birthday so I better see you all dance.”

The women all set their drinks down and scramble to the dance floor, start dancing and gyrating their hips. They squeal and _whoo-hoo!_ when Bianca starts to twirl Adore around, shriek loudly when the beat drops suddenly.

Trixie turns to Katya with a shy smile and grabs her hand, motions her head to the dance floor. “Shall we?”

Katya gives her a brilliant smile and stands up, pulls Trixie up and together they walk over to her friends who start screaming in excitement.

Trixie pulls Katya close to her, presses her back flush against Katya’s front. Katya can feel Trixie’s every curve and hesitantly puts her hands low on her hips. She feels Trixie take a deep breath, exhales slowly. Trixie places her hands on top of Katya’s and together they move them up and down her body before she turns around and pushes her face right into Katya’s neck.

(Katya is suddenly very grateful she decided to wear her highest heels tonight because being taller than Trixie is really coming in handy.)

She feels herself flushing as Trixie breathes into her and Katya can’t help let out a small moan; she feels Trixie smiling into her neck and Katya wraps her arms around her, squeezes.

“Thank you for coming with me tonight,” Katya murmurs into Trixie’s ear over the beat of the music. “Are you having fun?”

Trixie leans back and looks at Katya, her brown eyes twinkling and reflecting the bright coloured lights of the club. She presses their foreheads together and closes her eyes, gently brushing her lips on Katya’s, careful not to smear Katya’s red lipstick with her own bright pink. Katya takes that to mean she is enjoying herself and also tries not to think about the fact that Trixie has mentioned at the park how smoking turns her on.

Katya feels Trixie’s fingers brushing at the hem of her dress and her breath hitches when she feels them slip right under.

“We should g-”

“Trixie!” Adore shrieks and they break apart, both blushing deeply. “Get in here, girl!”

Trixie laughs and lets go of Katya, squeals when Adore dips her. Katya is left trembling a little bit and turns to look at Ginger who is smirking. She grabs Katya and shakes her by the hands, pushes her to dance with the group.

When a waitress with a tray filled with tequila shots comes to them they all cheer, and Naomi carefully passes one to Pearl behind the booth before handing Fame the shot glass with bubbles which the waitress confirms is just club soda. When Trixie asks Fame if she’s a teetotaler, she shakes her head and tells Trixie she’ll indulge in a glass of champagne once in a while but that she has a shoot she has to work on on Sunday and cannot possibly do anything that would hurt her skin.

Trixie throws her arms in the air and starts to shimmy and the girls all cheer even more loudly. Out of the corner of her eye Katya notices the security guard talking sternly with a guy who is holding his now broken cellphone; Katya can’t help but throw him a thumbs up before jumping up and down to the music with her friends.

It’s around three-thirty when the whole place comes together to sing happy birthday to Pearl and four cocktail waitresses holding champagne bottles with sparklers and two bartenders bring over a large cake. Violet takes this opportunity to grab the microphone to say how happy she is to be able to celebrate with Pearl tonight and how she’s sure they’ll have even more fun later. Everyone cheers, some people catcalling, and Katya realises just how much it doesn’t bother her, not when she’s spent all night twirling Trixie around in her arms.

Soon after the candles are blown out, the cake half eaten, and both Naomi and Fame have said their goodbyes, Ginger, Trixie, and Katya decide to sit back down, all three of them fanning themselves. Violet has stationed herself next to Pearl and is wearing her headphones, dances seductively next to her.

“Where are Bianca and Adore?” asks Trixie, dabbing at her forehead with a napkin.

“Bathroom,” Katya and Ginger say in unison, Ginger rolling her eyes.

“Will you, mom?” Katya asks and closes her eyes when Trixie reaches over to her and starts gently wiping the sweat off her forehead. Ginger scoffs and Trixie throws the napkin straight at her face and laughs when Ginger shrieks.

“Alright, whores,” Ginger says, rubbing her ankles with one hand and pulling up the Uber app on her cellphone with the other. “It’s way past this Cinderella’s bedtime and I think I’m turning into a pumpkin already. Miss Trixie, it was a pleasure.”

“The pleasure was all mine,” Trixie replies, giving Ginger a hug. “Will you let Katya know when you make it home?”

Katya sees Adore and Bianca walk back inside briefly to say goodbye to Pearl and Violet. She and Trixie raise their hands to wave back and they watch as they giggle and leave. It’s clearing out now that it’s so late and Trixie is leaning comfortably against Katya on the couch.

“Would you like another water, Trixabelle?” Katya asks, brushing Trixie’s knee absentmindedly.

“Nicknames already, Yekaterina?” Trixie teases, and nuzzles Katya’s neck again. She sighs and sits back. “I actually need to start heading back.”

“Oh, right. Your flight.” Katya watches Trixie pull out her phone and text who she assumes is her driver, who replies he’s downstairs already.

“Come on, I’m taking you home,” says Trixie, grabbing their purses and quickly drinks the rest of her water bottle Katya had gotten earlier.

They try to wave at Violet and Pearl, but the pair are now more engrossed with kissing each other than they are on anything else. Katya shrugs, tells Trixie she’ll just talk to Pearl in the afternoon.

The elevator is thankfully empty as Katya is buzzing with nerves and alcohol and she can’t help but think about what would happen if she pushed Trixie against the elevator door and stuck her hand right up her dress.

Would she feel Trixie’s heat? Would her fingers get sticky with Trixie’s wetness? Would she be able to feel how Trixie would drip down her inner thigh? How loud could she get Trixie to scream if Katya dropped on her knees and lapped her up?

She jolts when the elevator stops and she flushes, turns to look at Trixie who is staring at her with a smirk, as if she knows every thought running through her head. As if Trixie is also having the same thoughts.

They’re quiet on the ride to Katya’s flat - Katya had tried to vehemently decline the ride, saying it would be going completely out of the way for Trixie in Hell’s Kitchen but Trixie had just pulled her inside the car and put her seatbelt on - and Trixie has her head leaned back with her eyes closed.

Katya has her legs crossed tightly as perhaps she has the images from the elevator still on her mind.

“You think too loud,” says Trixie suddenly and Katya jumps. Trixie turns her head to peer at Katya with one eye.

“You don’t want to know what I’m thinking about,” whispers Katya, bites her lip.

“Maybe I do,” murmurs Trixie and closes her eyes again.

When they stop in front of the blue door, Katya sighs and unbuckles her seat belt, slowly. Maybe she’s giving Trixie time to _take her home_ , and not just in the literal sense.

Katya gets out when Trixie doesn’t show any signs of moving and quietly closes the door, rummaging in her purse for her keys.

“Katya, wait.”

She turns and Trixie is out of the car, walking towards her. Trixie stops in front of her and opens her arms wide so Katya steps in and embraces her, breathes her in deeply.

“I had a great night and your friends are lovely. Thank you.”

Katya thanks her, too, tells her she would have been the loser without a date if she hadn’t gone with her. Trixie laughs softly and kisses Katya’s cheek, lingers before wishing her a good night. Katya gulps and leans against the blue door, staring as Trixie walks back to the car.

She stops at the car door and turns back to look at Katya. She tucks her hair back and tilts her head. “Busy tomorrow? Or, well, tonight, I suppose?”

Katya looks confused and stands up straight. “I thought you were leaving?”

Trixie smiles and gets back in the car. “I was.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alexa, play slow burn by kacey musgraves.
> 
> please let me know what you think. in case it wasn't obvious, i have no one editing this so.


	6. libros schmibros

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which they almost eat cheesecake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just FYI: there’s a slur in this chapter during a conversation had by men.

When Katya wakes up the next day, for a brief moment, she’s kind of dreading seeing Pearl. It’s an unusual emotion as she has never felt like this towards her roommate but she feels slightly uncomfortable over the Violet Situation.

She opens the dark red black-out curtains and pops the window up, breathes in the soft June air before plopping back on her bed. It’s not that she necessarily _minds_ the fact that Pearl and Violet seem to be a Thing now (everything related to them is now thought of in Capital Letters); maybe she slightly minds no one had bothered telling her. Especially since everyone knew how messy things had ended with Violet and her. It honestly would have been better if Pearl had at least _mentioned_ something when they had been together at the apartment last night instead of letting her make (somewhat of) a fool of herself in front of Trixie.

God. Trixie.

She takes a moment to stare up at the ceiling before she does a full body squeal, kicking her legs about. She feels giddy at the prospect of seeing Trixie again, especially how things had ended a few hours ago.

Katya is suddenly very glad she has decided to close the bookstore for the weekend.

Turning to her side to grab her phone, she mindlessly scrolls through Instagram, double tapping here and there and looking at the photos her friends have tagged her in. A photo Adore has posted catches her eye and she stares at it for a very long time, screenshots it. It’s a selfie of Adore and Bianca, the younger woman giving the camera a cheesy smile while the latter woman simply glares. But it’s the background of the photo capturing all of her attention: Katya has her head thrown back in laughter, her arms up in the air, with Trixie’s arms slung lazily on each of her shoulders. Trixie is turned away from the camera, her blonde hair tumbling down her back and her dress riding slightly up.

Katya looks so...carefree, she realises. Comfortable with this woman in her arms. This thought fills her up with so much warmth and she feels tingly all over. She lets out a deep exhale and lets her phone drop onto the carpet, blinking slowly. She’s fucked now.

She gets out of bed and stretches languidly, goes through a couple of quick yoga poses on the mat she keeps in front of her bed to warm her muscles up. She pauses when she hears the front door slam and plops down instead when Pearl knocks, pops her head in.

“Good morning,” Pearl says softly. She looks unsure. “Can we talk?”

“Sure,” Katya replies, not unkindly. “Take a seat.”

Pearl walks in fully now, still dressed in last night’s outfit but her face scrubbed clean. She sits down on one end of the mat and stares at Katya. “I’m sorry. I should have told you sooner. I get it if you hate me.”

“You’re right, you really should have,” says Katya. She stops and reaches out to grab Pearl’s hands, which she had been nervously twirling. “But I don’t hate you, Pearlie. I just - will you promise me you’ll be safe?”

“Safe? I can’t get pregnant, Katya,” jokes Pearl, rolling her eyes.

“No, not -” Katya shifts and sighs. “I mean, be careful. With Violet.”

Pearl narrows her eyes and Katya can feel her hands getting clammy. “Careful? What are you trying to say?”

“I know how she is, Pearl. How she can be. Loving and caring in the beginning and then she can be just manipulative.” Katya stops and closes her eyes for a moment. “I don’t want your heart broken like mine was.” She jumps when Pearl suddenly retracts her hands back, stands up. Fuck.

“You have no idea what you’re talking about. Like, at all,” Pearl hisses.

Katya scrambles up, too, and tries to reach for Pearl’s shoulder but she moves out of the way and Katya almost stumbles. Pearl walks out of the room and she follows her down the hallway, calling out the woman’s name.

“Pearl! Look, you’re right, I - I don’t know what I’m talking about because your relationship with her is something completely different from mine. I didn’t - I didn’t mean anything _bad_ by it. I care about you very much and I don’t want to ever see you get hurt. By anyone. Including me.”

Pearl stops at her bedroom door, hand on the doorknob. She gives a deep sigh and turns around to look at Katya, her eyes slightly glistening. “I know. I’m sorry I overreacted. It’s just - this is still so new and, Kat, I really like her.” She whispers the last part, as if saying it any louder would hurt Katya.

“Are you-” Katya stops, looks deep into Pearl’s eyes. “Are you happy?”

Pearl nods. “She makes me so happy.”

Katya hesitantly reaches out again and wraps her arms around the younger woman when Pearl doesn’t resist. They’re both mumbling apologies into each other’s hair and then when they break away give each other a friendly peck on the lips.

Pearl grabs Katya’s hand and drags her into her room, sits her on the bed while Pearl opens her closet and rummages through her clothes. Katya lays back and closes her eyes, takes a deep breath and gets a whiff of the sweet smoke that always lingers on Pearl’s sheets. Her room is so unlike Pearl’s, she thinks, opening her eyes and glancing around.

Whereas Katya has deep, dark curtains, Pearl has whispy white ones billowing gently in the wind, a plant on the windowsill, trendy posters hung up carefully. Katya has a mishmash of art on her walls, magazine clippings here and there, posters of her favorite Russian bands from her childhood, and can’t even manage to keep a cactus alive.

“Trixie asked me to hang out with her today,” Katya says, sitting up and watching Pearl carefully line her eyes.

“She’s fucking cool, man,” replies Pearl, picking up her mascara now. “Are you gonna?”

“I want to, yeah! She’s...fantastic.”

“But?”

“She hasn’t texted me!” bursts out Katya. She groans and plops back on her back. “We spent a great night together and she asked me out but she hasn’t said _anything_ yet.”

Pearl snorts. “It’s ten thirty in the morning, Kat. She might still be asleep. Besides, why can’t you text her?”

“You think I should?”

“Absolutely.” Pearl stands up and pulls on some clothes, grabs her bag and spritz on some perfume. “I’m meeting Violet for brunch. Just text her, okay?”

Katya nods and closes her eyes again. She’s only resting them for a bit, she thinks, but snuggles deeply into Pearl’s bed.

An hour later she bolts awake when she hears her phone trilling from her room. She scrambles up, falling to the floor in a tangle of sheets and runs to her bedroom just in time to hear her phone give a final chirp. She grabs it and stares at the screen proclaiming she’s missed a call from Trixie.

She takes a deep breath and swipes on the notification and watches her phone dial Trixie’s number. It rings once, twice -

“ _Hello?_ ”

“Trixie, hi! Sorry, I took a nap in Pearl’s room and I barely made it to my room when you-”

“ _Katya, Katya. It’s okay. Listen, would you be up to grab dinner today? Around six?_ ”

“I’d love to, yes!” Katya said quickly, bouncing on her bed.

“ _Great. I’ll pick you up at six.”_

“I can’t wait,” murmurs Katya, ending the call.

Katya spends the rest of the day a ball of nervous energy and ends up cleaning the entire apartment, dusting and sweeping and mopping. She goes up and down the stairs with trash bags, even sweeps the actual stairs, too. By the time she’s done it's already early evening, she’s exhausted but calmer and decides to take a long bath to feel luxurious. She grabs one of Pearl’s blunts from the wooden box in the living room and lights it in the bathtub, sinks deep into the bubbles and hangs her hand holding the blunt off the side of the tub. Her phone is playing gentle classical music and she’s set it on the toilet lid just in case someone decides to call.

(She says someone, but really it’s just one specific person. Trixie. It’s always gonna be Trixie.)

She’s feeling the smoke settle in her and feels languid now, loose. Before she can think too much of it she grabs her phone and rests back down, places bubbles strategically on her breasts. She opens the camera and takes a series of snaps, one of which is her blowing out smoke. She decides it’s her favourite and sends it to Trixie with no message.

The blonde places her phone back on the toilet lid - face down so she doesn’t see it light up if Trixie responds - and stands up to turn on the shower head to properly wash herself up. It isn’t until she’s out and drying her hair that she allows herself to check her phone. She gasps when she sees the response, even if it isn’t a word.

> **Trixie:** [drooling face emoji]

Katya’s blushes deeply but decides not to respond; she is, after all, seeing Trixie in two hours. She is definitely trying to play it cool right now.

She’s finishing up getting ready, swipes on her favourite red liquid lipstick and fluffs her hair up a little more. It’s in loose waves again but down this time, only held back on one side by a hair clip that’s a tiny knife. She likes how it looks with her black jeans and white t-shirt - she looks done up but still casual. Perfect for a date with a young Hollywood starlet.

Katya stops as she’s shoving her powder compact in her purse. It’s a date, right? This was a _date_ with Trixie, right?

She grabs her keys and purse, walks down the stairs when she hears her doorbell buzzing. She swings it open and is momentarily startled by how beautiful Trixie looks in her blue skirt and black turtleneck crop top, a lightweight cardigan hanging loosely from her shoulders. Her hair is in a high ponytail and her eyeliner is dramatically winged out. She looks absolutely stunning and Katya feels as if her tongue is too big for her mouth.

Trixie steps towards and kisses Katya in the cheek, lingers for a beat. “Hi,” she murmurs and steps back to pull Katya towards the car. “Shall we?”

Katya is rooted in her spot and Trixie looks back when she realises Katya isn’t moving.

“Um?”

“Is this a date?” Katya bursts out suddenly.

Trixie blinks and laughs, looking slightly taken aback. She calms and stares at Katya. “Yes,” she says simply, and tugs Katya by the arm again, who stumbles, now eager to get into the car to start their night.

They’re both quiet in the car (they usually are, Katya has noticed) but Katya enjoys it because she’s able to hear Trixie softly singing along to whatever song plays on the radio, her dulcet tones filling Katya up.

Once they reach Bryant Park, they get out and head across the street to Koi where they go up the lit stairs to their table. They’re able to see a good part of the restaurant and watch as a group of rowdy men sit at the table below them. After their waitress takes their order they sip on their ice water and stare at each other, soft smiles on their faces as they reminisce about the night before.

Katya pulls up the photo she had stolen from Adore and shows it to Trixie who immediately AirDrops it to herself. Katya tries not to think too much about it and shows her other photos from her friends’ Instagrams. They thank their waitress when she brings their food and a bottle of saki to share, beer for Trixie and a rum and coke for Katya.

She laughs as Trixie finishes the story of the awful camping trip she took with her _Helix_ co-stars in an attempt to bond before pre-production of the first film. It had ended in tears, the guy playing her love interest almost getting a snake bite, and being forced to eat hamburger buns a stranger gave them after all their food had been eaten by animals around their campsite.

Katya keeps wheezing, unable to finish a bite of her sushi. She waves at Trixie to stop when she has her choking on her saki.

“You should do stand-up. But only with that story,” Katya says, sipping her drink. She watches Trixie grin and take a long swig of her beer, watches the way her throat works. Trixie knows Katya is staring, kicks her under the table and startles Katya. They both blush and Katya finishes her beverage, feels the rum settling warm in her stomach, and chases it with water.

“No, thanks! I’m already nervous about this show and the audience’s reaction. I can’t imagine telling a joke and hearing nothing but silence or seeing people rolling their eyes,” Trixie replies, shuddering. (Katya can’t imagine anyone not finding Trixie anything but charming.) “At least with the show I won’t be able to see anyone’s reaction. It’s all dark, thank God.”

Katya reaches out for Trixie’s hand, gently interlaces their fingers and squeezes reassuringly before retracting it. Trixie looks slightly put off by the lack of prolonged contact but seems to brush it off quickly. She smiles when Katya says she will be fantastic.

They sit in a companionable silence, finishing up their food and waving down the waitress to order a slice of cheesecake to-go for dessert. They plan to grab a bench at the park and watch the sunset since it got dark so late. As she walks down the stairs, they both hear the table of men they saw earlier sitting below them making lewd comments about her as she walked past them.

“Gross,” Katya says, scrunching up her nose.

“Men,” Trixie offers, rolling her eyes and finishing up her beer.

Katya laughs, head thrown back. “So, anyway, at the store last week -”

“ _Nah, man, what about that Tracy Martel chick, though?_ ”

It’s the table of men. They’re aggressively loud.

“ _Who?_ ”

“ _Tracy Martel!_ ” says one of them. He snaps his fingers. _“She was in that God awful movie, the one with the lost dog and shit_.”

Trixie rolls her eyes. “ _America’s Sweetheart_ ,” she says at the same time as another of the men.

“ _Fuck, that movie was trash._ ”

Trixie nods her head, props her elbow on the table and leans into her hand. “He’s not wrong. It really was not a good movie,” she whispers and Katya giggles.

“I didn’t see it,” she whispers back. They’re trying to be quiet so they can continue to eavesdrop. It’s kind of fun.

“Don’t.”

“ _Well, anyway, that Martel chick is hot. Those tits? I’d love to get my dick between them and just-_ ” a lewd noise follows and Trixie frowns now.

“ _Ha! As if she’d let you_.”

“ _Why wouldn’t she? One look at me and I’d have her on her knees, drooling_.”

“ _Mark, haven’t you heard the rumors? She’s a lezzie, you fucking idiot. A carpet-munching dyke_.”

Katya’s eyes widen and makes to stand up. Suddenly this wasn’t funny anymore and she’s ready to knock someone out. She stops, though, when Trixie grabs her hand and she sits back down at Trixie’s insistence. They’re both quiet and Katya can see Trixie getting red and splotchy with anger.

“ _So?_ ” Mark continues. “ _One night with me and I’ll have her reconsidering eating pussy, I swear._ ”

The men all laugh boisterfully, clinking their beers and making a loud cheer to “carpet-munchers”.

At this Trixie abruptly stands up and grabs her cardigan and purse, getting ready to go down the stairs and out the door. Katya scrambles to do the same, taking out too much cash to leave on the table for their bill.

They both quickly descend the stairs and when they pass the table Katya gives them a nasty look (she almost even wants to stick out her town, childishly.) She can see that Trixie is just as furious as Katya and she’s about to reach out for her when Trixie suddenly turns around, walks right up to the table of men. Katya stands just off to the side and can see Trixie is practically vibrating in anger. The waitress heads towards them with their cheesecake but Katya just shakes her head and grabs the bag, and the waitress walks away confused.

Katya wants to step in but knows not to interrupt Trixie; she needs to do this.

“Hi! Which one of you is Mark?” Trixie says cheerfully, a huge smile plastered on her face.

All of them abruptly stop laughing, gasping instead. One of the guys on the left, dressed in a polo shirt with a visible soy sauce stain, raises his hand. Katya hears someone mutter an _oh, shit_.

“Mark, hi, I’m Tracy. Tracy Martel. It’s _so_ nice to meet you. Just so you know, even if you were the last man on Earth - if you were the last human being on this planet - the last specimen I could fuck, I would never, ever, _ever_ even consider allowing you the privilege to fuck me. I’ll stick to drooling over pussy.”

She reaches behind her blindly and Katya quickly walks up to grab her hand. She smiles at the table again. “Enjoy your dinner, the tuna’s really good,” she says in a saccharine voice with distaste dripping from her lips. She slips on her cardigan and gives the men, now staring at her with their mouths gaped open, a small wave.

“ _You fucking_ moron-”

“ _That was Tracy Martel-_ ”

“ _Mark, she heard-_ ”

Katya and Trixie walk out of the restaurant, foregoing the park plan, and Katya is still very aware of the fact they’re still holding hands as they walk towards the parked car down the street. Not that she minds; she loves it actually, finds she enjoys how well they fit together. She finds she can’t revel in this though, not when Trixie is still very clearly upset.

Trixie stops suddenly, Katya tripping in her step. She sighs and turns to Katya, lays her forehead on Katya’s shoulder and takes a deep breath. “I shouldn’t have done that,” she mutters into her.

Katya pats her head and gently moves them out of the middle of the sidewalk, still intertwined. She wraps her arms fully around Trixie and rubs her back. “They absolutely deserved it. I’m glad you did it.”

“No,” Trixie groans, stepping away from her and crouching on the floor. Katya follows. “My publicist is gonna kill me if this gets out.”

“They’re not gonna say anything, Trix. It’ll look worse on them than it will on you. They were pretty much sexually harassing you!”

“I know, but I should’ve just left and not said anything-”

“Trixie, hey,” Katya interrupts, grabbing her hands and forcing them to stand up. She gently tips Trixie’s chin, looks deep into her brown eyes. “You didn’t do anything wrong, okay? _Okay_?”

Trixie nods and hugs Katya once more, muttering a small thank you and squeezing her bicep as she pulls away. Katya shrugs her off, reminding her she didn’t do anything. Trixie rearranges her purse and loops her arm through Katya’s, foregoing holding hands. (Katya tries not to look too disappointed.)

“God,” Trixie says as they continue their walk to the car. “Did you see their faces?”

“Yes, mama! They fully didn’t know what to say. You really let that poor fucker have it.”

“Girl. It’s the only thing he’ll ever get from me, I promise you.”

They climb into the car, still giggling and making fun of the men when Trixie tells her driver to just head back to her place. Katya looks surprised but Trixie shrugs and smiles, shyly reaches out for Katya’s hand.

She gives it to her easily and watches as Trixie intertwines their fingers.

She keeps doing this to Katya - gives her soft touches here and there but fails to fully commit. It’s confusing Katya and is leaving her wondering if they’re on the same page. After all, she did tell Katya this was meant to be a date -

“Would you like to come up?” Trixie asks, unbuckling her seatbelt.

Katya hesitates, thinks about how confused she is as to the trajectory of where this was meant to be headed. “I don’t know. Are we - Trixie, what are we doing?”

Trixie stops and Katya can see her make a quick decision. She leans over and undoes Katya’s seatbelt and Katya’s eyes are wide as she stares deep into Trixie’s own eyes. Katya glances at the driver for a brief second who is suddenly very interested in his phone before she closes them as Trixie kisses her now.

She moans softly and opens her mouth when she feels Trixie’s tongue gently prying at her lips and reaches to pull Trixie to sit on her lap. She vaguely hears the driver door open and close but she’s too interested in the feeling of Trixie’s ass in her lap to really care or feel embarrassed.

Trixie is grinding on her lap now, making little mewling sounds against her lips, her kissing becoming more persistent and Katya feels those sounds right in her core. She reaches up and wraps her hand around the ponytail and tugs. Trixie pulls back with a gasp and Katya starts attacking her neck with kisses; she can feel Trixie’s pulse fluttering under her mouth.

“Would you like to come up?” Trixie repeats in a gasp.

Katya pulls away, and they’re both panting, their eyes dark, their lipstick smeared. Katya nods once and Trixie scrambles off her lap, wipes her mouth with the back of her hand.

“Gimme five minutes to kick Bob out. Just come up when you see him leave? And don’t forget the cheesecake,” Trixie says, gulps. “It’s the top floor. I’ll let Barry know.”

She hops out the car and gives Katya a little wave and a wink.

Katya is left sitting in the car alone, trying to catch her breath. She can feel the wetness on the crotch of her underwear and she shifts to try to get some friction from her jeans. She groans and shakes her head, thinks she should save it for when she’s upstairs with Trixie.

She looks at the entrance and sees the driver smoking a cigarette, but no sign of Bob anywhere. Katya looks down at her phone and sees ten minutes have passed already and is getting slightly nervous. Maybe Bob didn’t want to leave? Maybe he’s trying to find a place to go?

Suddenly Katya feels bad she’s essentially kicking Bob out for the night and makes a quick decision to just go upstairs and tell him he didn’t need to. They could just try to keep it down?

Katya snorts, grabs the paper bag with the cheesecake, and walks into the building, nods at the driver and the doorman on her way in who both nod back.

(She ignores when they both wink her way.)

As she’s in the lift she’s running through what she’ll say to Bob, knows she’ll want to apologise first. She reaches the top floor, goes down the hallway to the only door there, and knocks.

The door swings open and she’s half expecting it to be Bob but she stumbles on her apology when she sees it’s a beautiful Latina woman with short brown hair and big eyes staring at her.

“ _Amor!_ ” she calls back into the apartment. “There’s a woman here? Do you know her?”

Katya stares back. “Uh, is Trixie here?”

“Oh! Are you from UberEats?” She glances down at the bag clutched tightly in Katya’s hand. “Trixie, baby, did you order me food?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you’re perfect, you’re beautiful, you look like linda evangelista, you’re a model.
> 
> please let me know what you think? even if it’s just to yell at me? you all don’t know how much comments feed me.


	7. a novel idea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which we find out who opened the door at trixie's flat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love you all.

_The door swings open and she’s half expecting it to be Bob but she stumbles on her apology when she sees it’s a beautiful Latina woman with short brown hair and big eyes staring at her._

_“Amor!” she calls back into the apartment. “There’s a woman here? Do you know her?”_

_Katya stares back. “Uh, is Trixie here?”_

_“Oh! Are you from UberEats?” She glances down at the bag clutched tightly in Katya’s hand. “Trixie, baby, did you order me food?”_

“Vale, what are you talking about?” Trixie says now, coming to the door. She looks unfazed to see Katya standing there and for a brief second Katya feels slightly hysterical but then remembers Trixie is an actress. “Oh, hello. The cheesecake! Thanks, Katya.”

The woman smiles brilliantly at Katya and turns to Trixie. “You two know each other?”

Katya is standing there dumbly and she’s suddenly very aware her hand is sweating and causing the bag to crumble. “Um -”

“Yeah, she’s a friend of mine. Vale, this is Katya. Katya, Valentina.”

“Mucho gusto!” Valentina says, reaching out to give Katya a hug and a quick peck on the cheek. “Come in, please.” She pulls Katya in and the blonde follows because she truly has no idea what is happening.

She doesn’t have a chance to even look around and admire the spacious apartment with the large windows before she’s being pushed to sit down on the pristine white couch, Valentina plopping herself next to her. Trixie does not give anything away as she looks at her and gently pries the bag from her hand and sets it on the glass coffee table, takes a seat on the other side of Katya. 

“So! How do you two know each other?” Valentina asks, still all smiles. It’s unnerving Katya.

“I told you already, Valentina; she’s a friend of mine,” Trixie replies, rolling her eyes. 

“Si, si, but how do you know each other? Where did you meet? How long have you-”

Trixie gets up in a huff, heads to the kitchen island. “It’s honestly none of your business.”

Katya’s eyes widen and stands up. “Should I-” 

“No!” Trixie yelps and Valentina pulls Katya back on the couch. “No,” she repeats, this time more calmly. She’s standing at the island drinking a tall glass of water and now she seems flustered.

Katya knows the feeling.

“Baby, is this cheesecake for me?” Valentina asks, turning to glance at Trixie.

Trixie groans. “I told you to stop calling me that.” Katya watches as she pulls out another glass, fills it with water, and walks over to Katya, handing it to her. Katya takes it gratefully and starts slowly drinking it, glancing between the two women. She's acutely aware at the fact that Trixie is fully not addressing why Katya showed up at her door with cheesecake and -

“I’m her girlfriend,” explains Valentina, flouncing back on the couch dramatically.

Katya chokes on her water, feels liquid coming out of her nose and Trixie hands her a tissue from the side table. She can feel her face draining of colour and an uncomfortable feeling settles in her bones. Her skin feels too tight and she desperately needs to get out of this apartment. She turns to Trixie with wide eyes but Trixie only stares back, her expression blank. “Girlfriend?” 

Valentina squeals but Katya doesn’t turn to look at her, continues to look at Trixie. “ _Si_ , girlfriend! I’m sure you’ve seen pictures of us together! The paparazzi love us.”

“Ex-girlfriend, Valentina. You’re my ex-girlfriend,” Trixie says flatly, not breaking eye contact with Katya. “And no, Katya has not seen those pictures.”

The word ex-girlfriend is repeating in Katya’s brain like a chant and she can feel some colour coming back to her face. She feels dizzy from the whiplash of this whole night and rests back on the couch, closes her eyes. 

“Katya-”

“Valentina, can you please go? Like, literally go anywhere right now. I don’t even know why you’re here,” Trixie snaps and Katya peers to see Valentina look affronted. She huffs and stands up, flips her hair. 

“Fine. I’ll tell Bob to take me to Joyface. And when I come back-”

“You will not be coming back here,” Trixie interrupts. Valentina lets out a high offended squeak. “Go stay with Trinity or something.”

It isn’t until Katya hears the door open and close (and hears Bob mutter an apology to Trixie and Valentina give a scoff) that she opens her eyes and turns her head to look at Trixie. “I have no idea what just happened,” Katya says, giving a quiet sigh. 

“I know, I’m sorry about her,” Trixie replies, reaches out and gently runs her fingers once through Katya’s hair. “I broke up with her but I guess it didn’t register.”

Katya hums and rubs her eyes, tired. She feels her mascara crumbling and finds she doesn’t really care. She’s suddenly very exhausted. 

Trixie just looks at her, bites her lip, and sighs. “This isn’t gonna happen tonight, is it.” It’s not a question.

“I should go,” Katya mumbles instead, gets up and heads to the door. Trixie follows her and together they walk to the lift in silence. She presses the button and looks at Katya with a side smile. 

“I’ll text you?” Trixie says and Katya just nods, steps into the lift when it comes. 

She doesn’t say anything - only gives Trixie a weak wave as the doors close.

*****

It’s Wednesday afternoon by the time Trixie texts her with an explanation that she’s been completely swamped with work as opening night is Saturday and they would be doing previews until then. 

Katya sighs but texts back a No worries! with a heart emoji to show she’s not bothered (even though she fully is).

On Saturday morning, Katya texts Trixie a quick break a leg! but doesn’t get a response back until the next morning and it’s mainly just a series of the smiley emoji with a short “ty!” It throws her whole Sunday off and she’s visibly moping, spends most of the time reading and closes up the shop by three. 

Katya is really, truly not trying to read too much into it but can feel her anxiety settling in her body. It’s making her dizzy and uncomfortable with herself. She doesn’t even open the store on Monday and instead lays on the floor of her living room, smokes a joint and puts on a Lana Del Rey record on repeat until she’s too languid to get up to reset the needle. 

She doesn’t know why she’s letting this affect her so much; after all, she hasn’t known Trixie for that long, anyway. But she can’t deny the pull Trixie has on her, how much Katya wants her and wants nothing more than to make her happy. She wants to hold her hand everywhere and be able to kiss her wherever she wants, whenever she wants. And, well, do other things, too...

Katya ends up blurting all of this to Ginger on the phone later that afternoon, but has now moved on to laying on the floor of her bedroom. 

(Pearl and Violet had showed up with dinner and they looked happy and Katya did not feel like being a Debby Downer.)

“ _Well, why don’t you tell her this?_ ” Ginger asks over the sound of running water as she washes her dishes. Katya can hear CJ in the background playing with their two sons and Katya feels her heart clench. 

“Mama, how? How, if she’s so busy now? I don’t think I have to remind you but she’s a literal famous person doing a show on Broadway,” Katya responds.

“ _Honey, I know. Lemme tell you, though, your girl is killing it. I read the reviews and_ -”

“Gingerrrrr,” Katya whines. “You’re supposed to make me feel better!” She crawls up to her bed and curls up in a ball, closes her eyes. 

“ _Why don’t you just call her?_ ” Ginger says now, in a soft voice. Katya knows it’s meant to be soothing but the effect is broken immediately after Ginger yells when she hears something break in the living room. 

“And say what? I would like to rent a Uhaul to move in together even though I’ve only seen you a handful of times and let’s adopt a puppy together?”

“ _Sure. Typical women who love women stuff, right?_ ”

Katya sighs, turns to lay on her back and stares up at the ceiling. “I don’t know, man. Again, she’s famous. She may not even like me like that.”

At this, Ginger barks out a laugh. “ _Bitch, of course she likes you like that! She spent hours with your friends talking about you and took you on a date despite spending hours with your friends talking about you. Not to mention she invited you to her place. And I’m sure it wasn’t to help her run lines._ ”

Katya groans loudly and thrashes on her bed. “I hate this. Why did you even encourage me in the first place?”

Ginger doesn’t answer, is so silent that Katya looks at her phone to see if the call dropped. 

“Hello?”

Ginger sighs, “ _Because you never smiled at Violet the way you smile at Trixie_.”

Katya can only sigh.

It’s nearly eleven pm by the time Katya decides to call Trixie up after she hangs up with Ginger.

Ginger’s words keep echoing in her head, causing Katya to stare at the photo of her and Trixie from Pearl’s party for a couple of hours. She keeps zooming in and out of it, looking intently at her own face, her own beaming smile. She’s been pacing her room this whole time. 

Finally, she stuffs her fist in her mouth, gives a muffled shriek, and dials up Trixie. 

After three rings, Trixie answers with a breathless _hello?_ For a moment, Katya stops pacing. 

“Trixie, hey, it’s, uh, Katya!” she says cheerfully. 

“ _I have caller ID, Katya._ ”

Katya groans. “Duh, obviously. Anyway, hi, hello, hi, how are you doing this evening?”

“ _I was about to go to sleep, actually. How are you?_ ”

“I’m doing great!” Katya replies, then stops and plops down on the floor. “No, actually, I’m not. Trixie, I- uh, well, I really like you and I’m trying to figure out what’s gonna happen. Last week, in the car - and then the whole thing with Valentina - ”

“ _Would you like to come see me on Thursday?”_ Trixie interrupts. 

“What?”

“ _T_ _hursday. Will you come to my show? And then we can get some drinks afterwards?_ ”

“Okay, yeah, but Trixie-”

“ _I’ll see you soon, Katya. Goodnight,_ ” Trixie says softly and hangs up. 

Katya stares at her phone, dumbfounded. What just happened?

She runs over to Pearl’s room and starts knocking quickly. “Pearl, Pearl, Pearl! What do I wear to a Broadway show?” 

Violet opens the door with an annoyed look on her face. She’s also completely naked. “Not that I care - because in case you can’t tell, Pearl is a little busy - but you should wear a nice dress. Obviously. Now leave us alone.” She closes the door on Katya’s face, who lets out a loud cackle.

It’s Wednesday afternoon and Katya is chatting animatedly with Adore over salads she had bought them for lunch. It’s been quite a busy morning with a lot of people, mostly young teens, coming in to browse the store, a couple of them making purchases but most of them were, curiously, just taking selfies. Katya thought it had been odd but she brushed it off since she was, after all, making a profit off them.

She’s chugging her water as Adore is telling her a story about Pearl at the bakery when the bell above the door chimes again. Her eyes go wide and she waves excitedly, putting down her water bottle. Adore turns to see who it is and smirks. “Well, well, well.”

“Trixie!” Katya chirps out, wiping her mouth off with her napkin. “What are you doing here?”

(She’s pointedly ignoring Adore, who has now propped her chin on her hand, watching them intently.)

“I like your dress,” Trixie replies instead, walking over to the counter. “I’ve never known anyone who can make coffee beans look so flattering. Hi, Adore.”

“Thank you!” Katya says, standing up quickly and posing. In her haste, a pair of glasses fall from her head and Trixie raises her eyebrows.

“Are you wearing three pairs of glasses?” she asks, going around the counter and reaching down to pick them up. She stands close to Katya and gently places them back on her head above the other pair. She lets her hand linger in Katya’s hair and gently runs her fingers down the blonde locks before she pulls away. 

(They both ignore the small shiver Katya lets out and very much ignore Adore’s loud squeal.)

“So what can I do for you, miss?” Katya says, putting on a thick English accent. “Are you back for another travel guide?”

Trixie rolls her eyes but smiles. She reaches back into her small backpack and pulls out an envelope which she hands to Katya. “I could have left them at will-call, but I thought I would bring them to you personally.”

Katya sees two tickets inside the envelope and gives Trixie a brilliant smile. “I like this better.”

Trixie shrugs. “I figured you could bring Ginger since she’s, you know, musical. Adore, if you wanted to come-”

“Oh, no, I’m good, thank you. Bianca and I have plans tomorrow but I appreciate the invitation. I’m sure you’re slaying it, girl,” Adore says. She stands up and cleans up their containers, wipes down the counter quickly. “Anyway, I have to get back, leave you two alone. Trixie, it was nice seeing you again! Katya - I’ll see you later, bitch.”

There’s a thick silence that settles over them as the door chimes behind Adore. Trixie is staring at Katya with a Mona Lisa smile and Katya looks back, admiring how effortlessly beautiful Trixie looks today. She’s wearing a strappy pink sundress in a strawberry pattern, her white Keds again, and is wearing natural makeup to enhance the very light smattering of freckles across her nose. 

Katya has the most overwhelming to kiss her so she steps close to her, places her hand on Trixie’s cheek, silently asking for permission. Trixie closes her eyes and leans in, capturing Katya’s lips in a deep kiss. She pulls Katya flush against her and they stumble and suddenly Katya is pressed up against a bookshelf. In the back of her mind, Katya knows a customer can walk in at any moment and catch them and it feels thrilling. Katya is trailing one hand down Trixie’s side while the other clutches her neck. She reaches the hem of Trixie’s short dress and brushes her fingers on Trixie’s soft thigh, causing Trixie to let out a low moan and breaks away, gasping.

“We should stop,” she says but proceeds to pepper kisses on Katya’s neck. “Anyone can walk in.”

“You’re right, we should totally stop,” says Katya, grabbing a hold of Trixie’s hair and giving it a strong tug. She crushes her lips against Trixie’s, opens her mouth up, and suddenly her hand is completely under Trixie’s dress, feeling the lace on the edge of her underwear. 

Trixie whimpers against Katya’s lips and it sends a bolt of heat straight to Katya’s core. She can feel herself getting wet and she somehow manages to maneuver them so now Trixie is the one with her back to the bookshelf.

“Is this okay?” Katya asks, her fingers now pressed up against Trixie’s heat. She’s desperate to dip her fingers in but is still, _somehow_ , still aware where they’re at.

“Yeah, yeah,” Trixie pants and places her own hand underneath Katya’s dress, rubbing her thigh. “Is this-”

“Definitely,” sighs Katya and kisses Trixie. She’s about to nudge Trixie’s underwear to the side (she wants to commit the noise Trixie makes to memory forever) when they hear the doorknob rattle. They break apart and Katya lets out a nervous laugh. Trixie clears her throat, straightens herself out and nods. She is still, however, very flushed; Katya reaches out and brushes her thumb against Trixie’s lower lip and watches her flush even more. 

The doorknob rattles again and whoever is at the door starts knocking now. Katya realises Adore had locked it as she left and makes a mental note to buy her a present.

“Don’t leave,” Katya orders and Trixie rolls her eyes, retorts there’s nowhere she could possibly go. 

Katya unlocks the door and it’s three girls and one guy waiting patiently to get inside. They walk in and start looking around and, just like the patrons before, immediately start taking selfies. Katya walks back to sit behind the counter and sees Trixie has pulled out a book from the shelf she was just up against and is reading it intently.

“Let me know if you need any help,” says Katya in her best customer service voice. 

The group giggles and nods, thanks her and continues to walk through the store, snapping more photos.

“Teenagers are so _weird_ ,” Katya whispers dramatically to Trixie. She reaches over, pulls Trixie by the dress and has her sit next to her in the spare stool Adore had occupied. “Whatcha reading?”

“Just something by William Thacker? It’s good; I think I may get it, actually,” replies Trixie, turning the page. Katya kisses her cheek, tells her she’ll be back with a cup of tea. Trixie just hums, still engrossed in her book. 

In the back, as Katya is waiting for the kettle, she reaches up and touches her mouth. She can feel the dreamy smile she has on and it doesn’t leave as she’s preparing their drinks. As she’s dumping milk and sugar into her cup, she hears a series of shrieks. She runs out, curses when some of the hot liquid sloshes on her wrist, and stops when she sees the girls and guy chatting animatedly with Trixie. They don’t even acknowledge Katya when she takes a seat next to Trixie, sets the cup in front of the blonde.

“And I fucking _loved_ you in the Helix movies, ohmygod,” says one of the girls. “You’re, like, literally the best actress in the whole world, I swear.”

“Period,” the others say in unison and burst out in laughter. They’re all talking above each other, praising Trixie ( _Tracy_ to them, Katya reminds herself), and Katya is watching them with a tiny smile as she sips her tea.

Trixie is listening to them politely, thanks them when she’s able to get a word in, and answers some of the questions she manages to understand throughout their high-pitched squealing. When they ask for selfies with her, she agrees and gives them big genuine smiles in each photo along with what Katya now realises is her signature pose of a peace sign. 

They ask her if it’s okay if they each get a quick hug (Katya is very grateful for this as she thinks boundaries and consent are very important) and Trixie agrees, hugging them one by one before they all collectively squeal again. 

As they walk out the door, Katya yells out, “Stay in school!” and the boy pops his head back in to tell Katya she has the best store and is gonna tell all his followers about it. Trixie lets out a loud laugh at the look of horror that comes across Katya’s face and pats her gently on the shoulder.

“Does that happen often?” Katya asks Trixie, nudges the mug closer to Trixie. 

Trixie nods as she picks up her tea and takes a sip. “Yes. It happens more often in LA. I don’t mind it too too much just because - and this is going to sound terribly conceited - just because I know I made their entire day.”

“You always make my day,” Katya replies without thinking and smiles when Trixie blushes. She leans over and plants a kiss on Trixie’s exposed shoulder. 

Trixie looks at her watch and sighs, reaches into her backpack that had been flung on the floor for her sunglasses. “I need to go.”

Katya pouts. “Okay. I’ll walk you out.” 

At the door Trixie yanks Katya towards her and kisses her quickly. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Wear something sexy,” she whispers in her ear.

“I will,” Katya answers, kisses her one last time as Trixie walks out. “See you tomorrow, baby.”

Trixie grins, puts on her sunglasses, hails a cab, and waves as she gets in.

Katya closes the door and leans against it. “ _Baby?”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the a/n at the end of last chapter should have told you who answered the door but i couldn't help but giggle at all of the comments asking who it was!
> 
> also, i am sorry for the delay on this chapter. when i started writing this i had challenged myself to update every sunday but life got in the way and i got writer's block and almost gave up on this. but i pushed through and i kinda enjoyed writing this chapter and so i'm posting this early even though it's technically late on my part.
> 
> please let me know what you thought of this bc i really was so close to giving up.
> 
> easter egg: william thacker is the name of hugh grant's character in the film


	8. fahrenheit 451

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which katya gets a fringe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please don't kill me.

“I can’t believe you made me come all the way out to Brooklyn for this. I had to get on the L. Do you know how much I hate the L? I hate it,” Katya grumbles to Pearl, who is standing in front of the glass doors of the William Vale Hotel stubbing out her cigarette. 

Pearl rolls her eyes and grabs Katya’s tote bag. She peers up at Katya’s hairline underneath the obnoxiously big straw hat she is wearing, fringe (Ginger had finally convinced her to let her cut them this morning) plastered onto her forehead. “How are you sweating already? You just got here.”

“I’ll have you know,” Katya starts off, following Pearl inside the building and stopping at the lifts. “I am actually the sweatiest woman in the biz.”

“Oh, does Trixie know that?” Pearl drawls as the doors open. Katya lets out an affronted squeak and pushes Pearl inside, who stumbles. 

“Anyway! She invited me to see her tonight. And she said to wear something _sexy_ ,” she whispers in a scandalous voice. 

Pearl rolls her eyes again. Katya childishly thinks they should get stuck like that permanently. “Don’t wear your coffee bean dress.”

“Ha! She’s already seen that dress and she _liked_ it,” Katya says, sticking out her tongue. 

They walk over to where Violet is currently lounging sipping a cocktail under a large umbrella to shade her fair skin. She looks devastatingly stunning in a Bardot style bikini and cat eye sunglasses and for a very brief moment Katya feels her chest tighten up. It isn't that she still has feelings for the dark haired woman - Katya just still has the ability to recognise Violet’s beauty. She shakes off the feeling, remembers she gets to see Trixie later, and puts on a bright smile. 

She dumps her stuff loudly on the lounger next to Violet and smiles when Violet scoffs, peering at Katya over her sunglasses. “Hello, Violet. How are you doing this afternoon? Still finger banging my roommate like a big lezzie?”

“Hello, Yekaterina. Still _trying_ to finger bang Trixie like a big lezzie?” Violet replies, rolling her eyes.

“I am _bisexual_ , thank you very much,” Katya screeches as she whips off her hat and plops onto the lounger, gives a big stretch and wiggles her toes. 

“I notice you didn’t answer the question,” Violet sniffs, raising a dark, thin eyebrow. 

“I don’t kiss and tell,” responds Katya, eliciting a loud laugh from Violet, which Katya pointedly ignores. She pulls out her phone and snaps a photo of Pearl mid-dive into the pool, sends it off to Trixie.

> **Trixie: ughhhh i wish i was there! that looks so relaxing D:**
> 
> **Katya: I wish you were here, too! But at least I get to see you tonight!**

She takes off her t-shirt and discreetly adjusts her black bikini top before taking a quick photo of herself with a big grin. She texts it to Trixie and scrunches up her eyebrows at the response.

“What does this mean?” she asks Violet, shoving the screen in her face. 

“It means she likes the photo,” Violet replies, pushing Katya back. “You are _such_ an old.”

“All of these random letters mean that? She could have just said that.”

“It’s what the kids do nowadays,” pipes up Pearl from the edge of the pool. 

“Youths!” Katya exclaims, throwing her arms in the air. She watches Pearl push herself out of the pool and take a seat at the edge of Violet’s lounger, water dripping on the brunette’s legs. She feels her chest tighten when she sees the fond look the two women give each other but doesn’t allow herself a moment to dwell on it.

“She’s not even that much younger than you. You’re just _old_ ,” Violet says now, turning to Katya. “So, are you nervous for tonight?”

“Fully. Which is so silly since I have obviously already spent time with her. This just seems….more?”

Pearl looks perplexed but Violet looks thoughtful. “It seems more official, you mean.”

“I think so? I’m going to her _show_ and she wants to have drinks afterwards. Probably with the cast and crew and that means _introductions_ ,” Katya says, flails her hands around. “Do I have to DTR?”

“I don’t think anyone does that anymore,” Pearl says, not unkindly. “But maybe do that if it makes you feel more comfortable.”

Katya sighs, slaps some sunscreen on her face, and promptly falls asleep.

Four hours later Katya finds herself on the train back to her house, sipping on a drink from Ramona that Violet had outright poured into a to-go cup from 7-11 in front of the bartender (He had been too mesmerized by her to say anything to stop her so Violet had simply smiled and thanked him with a wink when he made her another Perfume-V.

“ _It’s made with, er, tequila-”_

“ _Say less,”_ Katya had interrupted. _“Gimme that another one of those, too.”_

_“Uh, sure. And also made with a creme de violette-”_

“ _Violette,”_ Violet had repeated in a low voice. _“I’m Violet. Violet and violette.”_

In the end, all three of them got properly tipsy and their bar tab had been wiped clean. Outside the bar, Pearl had swooped Violet in her arms, murmured against her lips how much she liked when her girlfriend scammed stupid men.), going through her mental rolodex of outfits Violet had deemed acceptable to wear to a Broadway play.

By the time she gets home from Brooklyn, Katya only has the lightest of buzzes. She promptly swallows two paracetamols and chugs some water to avoid a headache as she wants to be able to put her full attention on Trixie. After showering to get the pool water off her body and hair, she stands in front of her closet contemplating. She shakes her head and decides to do her hair and paint her face instead, decides on a deep green eye-shadow with a red lip, makes sure to line her eyes just right. As she’s absentmindedly putting two loose plaits in her hair, she goes back to her closet and selects a sheer black blouse. She slips it over her black bra, buttons it up as she decides to light a joint to steady the sudden onslaught of nerves that decided to creep up. She grabs the wide-legged trousers New York & Co. lovingly referred to as _irish landscape green_ and as she slips on her leopard print heels, she decides she cleans up quite well.

Before she realises what she’s doing, Katya finds herself outside Music Box Theatre waiting for Ginger to arrive. She surreptitiously takes a photo with the poster of Trixie and texts it to the woman of the hour. She stares hard at her phone, willing a response but gives up when she considers Trixie is probably busy getting ready to even check her text messages.

She goes inside the theatre lobby and hangs next to the door to wait for Ginger, leans back against a wall. As she looks around at the people spilling into the lobby, she starts to get an odd feeling in the pit of her stomach. She hears people bustling around, a buzz of excitement in the air, and Trixie’s name - _Tracy_ \- keeps being thrown around. 

Katya suddenly feels uncomfortable in her own skin. She can’t do this, she can’t do this, she can’t be dating - dating, are they even dating they haven’t defined anything even when she asked her what they were doing she couldn’t -

“Katya! There you are!” Ginger's voice rings out, startling her out of her thoughts. 

She looks up at Ginger with slightly wide eyes. “Ginger,” she croaks out, reaching out her clammy hands to the short woman. “I-”

“Bitch, are you okay?” Ginger grabs her hand, guides her to the bar and plops her on a seat. She peers into Katya’s face and a look of understanding pops up. “ _Oh._ I see. You’re spiraling. You’re spiraling the first time you get to see your girlfriend in action.”

“Ginger,” Katya says again, quickly downing the whiskey Ginger has ordered. “I can’t.”

“Sure you can. You’re overthinking this and on the path of self destruction and, quite frankly, it’s not cute,” Ginger says, sipping on her own whiskey. She shakes her head at the barman and pushes a glass of water towards Katya. “Honey, it’s time to put on your big girl pants now and accept the fact that this ridiculously famous woman likes you a lot. You’re a strong woman and I know you can handle this.”

Ginger pats Katya’s knee gently and pulls her in for a hug, rubbing her back in slow circles. Katya feels a wave of calmness wash over her (it could be the whiskey but she’s quite sure it’s most likely Ginger’s words) and straightens up, shakes her limbs a little. She smiles and reaches up to run her fingers through her fringe and lets out a deep exhale. 

Ginger is totally right. She can handle this.

Well. _Katya_ can handle this but Ginger definitely can’t.

“ _Ohmigoodness,_ Katya, that’s _Andrew Garfield_! And look over _there_! Is that - oh, I’m about to faint - please tell me that’s not Sutton _fucking_ Foster.” Ginger is talking at a rapid speed, her accent thick and she’s slurring her words despite drinking out of the same champagne flute since they got to the cast party Trixie invited them along to at The Spaniard in the West Village. 

Katya and Ginger had taken the train over after Trixie had texted her a quick apology and told her she would meet them there, that unfortunately the director wanted her to do a quick interview with him and _Time Out_ but she would meet them there, along with the rest of the cast and some other people. Apparently some other people included people like Sara Bareilles and one of Trixie’s co-star from the _Helix_ films. 

“Wait, I know him!” Katya says, nodding over excitedly to the bald man chatting animatedly with Andrew Garfield (Katya only knew Andrew because she had seen him in the _Never Let Me Go_ adaptation). “That’s Brian McCook! He was, uh, that one Russian doctor in the second _Helix_ movie! Oh, that’s so nice he came to support Trix.”

Next to her, Ginger is still vibrating in excitement as she spots more celebrities mingling. “The one day I forget my _fucking phone_ at home. Anyway, where’s Trixie? I want her to introduce me to -”

The door opens and suddenly applause fills the area of the bar they’re all crammed into. Some people having a super late dinner on the other side of the place glance up briefly before going back to their own conversation. God, Katya loves New York.

In walks Trixie and her castmates and the director, who takes a quick bow and flutters when someone hands him flowers. (Katya had, of course, 100% not realised it was customary to give flowers so Ginger had them purchase some at the CVS outside the Christopher Street train stop by the bar.) Trixie smiles politely at everyone and accepts the champagne flute Brian McCook hands her as they greet each other with kisses. Katya shifts her weight from one foot to the other and jitters impatiently - she ignores Ginger’s comment that she looks like a small chihuahua seeing her owner - and finally stands on her tiptoes to wave at Trixie from across the room.

The brilliant smile that Trixie gives Katya once she spots her sends a warm feeling that settles in the pit of her stomach and Katya flushes. Trixie manages to make her way over to them and blushes when Katya hands her the flowers and swoops down to give her a kiss. Katya breaks away when she feels Ginger nudge her in the back and clears her throat, brushes her hand across Trixie’s exposed collarbones, grins when she sees Trixie shudder and close her eyes.

“Okay! That’s enough of that!” Ginger exclaims, startling them both. “As much as I’m sure everyone would enjoy watching you two skinny bitches go at it, I am dying to meet everyone. Trixie, how ‘bout you introduce my country ass to some people?” 

Trixie barks out a loud laugh and murmurs a promise for later in Katya’s ear that leaves her squirming in the darkness of the bar. She winks and grabs both Ginger and Katya’s hands, bringing them around the room introducing them to various _celebrities._ Katya is the definition of cool the whole time (mostly because she’s unaware who is actually famous and who isn’t) but Ginger is fully losing it and Katya has to pinch her a couple of times to remind her to tone it down. Her accent has gotten deeper and she keeps cursing herself for forgetting her phone but mostly everyone they’ve met has been nothing but kind toward Ginger and Katya is glad for it. If this is going to be the rest of her life because she’s with Trixie (and she absolutely does not allow herself to dwell on what that particular thought could mean), she has to make sure the people she cares for most in the world will not be belittled. 

(Katya also realises her earlier fears she had confided to Pearl and Violet had been for naught. Trixie had simply introduced her as _Katya_ and had let people make their own assumptions as they glanced at their intertwined hands. They could have their own conversation later but for now, Katya wanted Trixie to enjoy her night.)

“Katya, I think we should go now,” Trixie eventually says, her eyes hooded and heavy. She’s had three vodkas and is flushed. Katya can’t tell if it’s from the alcohol or from the little touches Katya’s been giving her all night as they sit at the bar. 

“I think that’s a great idea, baby,” Katya replies, finishing up her own drink. She knows her own flush is from being around Trixie for so long and not being able to touch her _exactly_ how she wants and has been imagining since she saw her walk into the bar in the tight and short black dress she’s got on. 

Trixie in pink is a vision.

Trixie in black is murder. And Katya would gladly die with her face in between Trixie’s thighs with that dressed pushed up -

“Yeah, let’s go now. Right now,” Trixie repeats, as if she can hear all the incredibly explicit thoughts Katya is currently having. Maybe she can. Or maybe they’re just written all over her face.

“I need to call Ginger a ride, one sec.” Katya squeezes Trixie’s thigh, ignores the small groan she lets out, and stands up, fixing her blouse. She smiles when Brian comes over, plopping into her seat and begins chattering a mile a minute with Trixie. Eventually she finds Ginger deep in conversation with a blonde woman who introduces herself as Laura and tells her they’re going to be heading out. Ginger looks disappointed but brightens up when Laura writes down her number on a bar napkin and encourages Ginger to ring her up so they can get lunch in the week. 

“Gosh, that was so much fucking fun,” Ginger gushes outside the bar after the three of them say their goodbyes. She’s carefully folded up Laura’s napkin and has it tucked safely in her purse, checking it’s still there every minute. She’s swaying only slightly but looks earnest when she thanks Trixie profusely for inviting her along. “I think Ms. Bell Bundy is gonna help me get my big break and I wouldn’t have met her if it wasn’t for you, Miss Mattel.”

“I’m glad you enjoyed yourself, Ginger,” Trixie says warmly. They watch as a car pulls up and Katya walks over to the driver, leans over the open passenger window to confirm the name and address while the two women wait on the kerb. “Will you let Katya know when you’re home safe?”

Ginger nods and hesitates before Trixie nods and they embrace. Katya watches with interest as whatever Ginger mumbles to Trixie has her blush crimson. Ginger lets out a loud barking laugh at Trixie’s reply and clambers over to Katya where she has the back door open. The redhead pats Katya’s hand and gives her a big wink. “Have fun you two!”

Katya shakes her head and walks back over to the blonde, grinning. She snakes her hands inside Trixie’s jacket and pulls her flush against her, one hand trailing up and down her back while the other rests dangerously above Trixie’s ass.

“I can’t wait to peel this dress right off you and have you dripping in my mouth.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look i haven't died and i offer myself in forgiveness.
> 
> i promise i haven't forgotten about this. i just lost my inspiration over the summer and the world is still falling apart but look i've gotten my groove slightly back even if this is semi a filler chapter but the next chapter.
> 
> well, the title of the next chapter will explain it all.
> 
> happy new year.


End file.
